Showing posts with label Family Life. Show all posts
Showing posts with label Family Life. Show all posts

Friday, December 26, 2008

Hannukah, Teenage Angst, and Snowstorm Malaise



Here we go again!

I love snow. Normally. Really, I do. But in the past two weeks we have had one storm after another. And this week, I have left the subdivision once. On Wednesday. For an hour at the grocery store.

The storms have come one after another, and the county is not doing a great job plowing our road. So we have been snowbound.

And our Hannukah has been strange. Not bad. Just strange. For the second and third night we had the Boychick's friend A. (also Jewish) snowed in with us. For some reason, the Boychick decided that it would be cool to demonstrate teenage angst about the Hannukah observance.

Before we light the candles, we usually talk about the meaning of Hannukah. On each night, our discussion is framed by a Hebew word expressing a Jewish value or a Maccabean value. On the first night that A. was here both boys acted like they had never heard of the Maccabees when we talked about Jewish Identity and the importance of knowing who we are.

This irritated me a bit because, after all, we have spent thousands of dollars and countless hours sending these little tw . . . uh, young men to Hebrew School and Machon. "What do you mean, you don't know much about Hannukah?" I said. Forcefully.

The Engineering Geek said to me (out of the side of his mouth), "This is the result of all those years of discussing the damn December Dilemma* rather than telling the kids straight up who they are and what they are expected to do about it." That may be true. But certainly they have discussed the Maccabees recently? The boys say that they haven't. But I don't want to get started on the state of Jewish education in the Reform movement these days . . . been there, done that, got the blog entries. And anyway, there was that eye-rolling, 'this is just so tiresome' teenage angst to deal with. So I made them watch the Sam Glaser/JewishFan You-Tube. I will leave the heavy sighs and peach-fuzz lip facial expressions to your imagination.

*It is rather peculiar that in the Reform Movement's Jewish Education, they spend more time talking about how it feels to be different in December, and how it's not so bad to have a Christmas tree in a Jewish home, rather than teaching a solid understanding of why we celebrate Hannukah, why it's not a major holiday, and what it has to do with Jewish Identity. In fact, it reminds me of a joke. But I will tell it later . . . Just think about Jessica Tansley's line in Driving Miss Daisy: With a nose like that, she has no right to be hollaring 'Merry Christmas!' But I digress.

On the nights of Hannukah, while the candles burn, we have a rule that all family members will stay in the room, and we will do something together. Usually, we sing some Hannukah songs, open a present, play games, or read aloud. But no TV and no computers.

On the same night as the Maccabee Ignorance Claim, we played dreidl for a while, after A. and the Boychick both opened their presents. A. actually got into it, but the Boychick used those special teen signals to let us know exactly how juvenile and tiresome it all was. Life. With. Parents. Is. Just. So. B-O-O-O-RING.

Bruce and I exchanged glances. And pretended we did not notice any of it. They. Do. Turn. Back. Into. Humans. Eventually.

But when they are being especially obnoxious, when they are performing for their friends, doing anything together as a family takes much more effort.

Over the next nights of Hannukah, I have been ready. On the third night I sat the boys down and said to them:
"Remember in the You-Tube how they said that studying Torah was a capital offense? Do you know what that means? Do you know what they did to the mothers and babies that were circumcised in defiance of the tyrant's decrees?" And we read Hannah and her Seven Sons from one of the books of Maccabees. (These are in the Jewish Apocrypha).

Then the EG asked them: Suppose you lived in those times. First, you were told you had to sacrifice to the genus of Antiochus. Then you were told you had to sacrifice a pig on the altar. Then you were forced to eat pig. Then you were forced to watch your sons compete naked in the gymnasium. Then you were forbidden to teach and study Torah on pain of death. Then you were forced to watch an execution of a woman and her baby because the baby had a bris. At what point would you stand up for your values? Why that point?"

They both responded with some sighs and angst, but then as they disagreed with one another, we actually had a reasonable conversation. Reasonable for teens.
And the Boychick's attitude has become more cooperative since A. went home. Not because A. is a problem, but because there's no one to perform for except parents. And we are not impressed.

Outside, we now have around six inches and the snow is still falling steadily.
Earlier we took the dogs out. They have to go, rain, shine or blizzard.

And our little Tomboy Lily made me reconsider my grumpy reaction to yet another blizzard.

She just loves snow! Her ears perk up, she gets excited. She romps and plays in it.

That's the thing about the dogs. They are always happy about something. They get excited about the important things: Snow. Snoozing. People coming home. Walks. Dinner. Being together.

They may create mischief now and then. But there's never a moment of angst.

Happy Hannukah!


Thursday, December 25, 2008

Engagement at Hatfield: She's Getting Married!



The Chemistry Geek Princess has been a great fan of Britian's greatest Monarch, Queen Elizabeth I for many years.
Of English ancestry on her father's mother's side, she is also related to some of the first families of New England, but it is English history that has captured her imagination. Thus, this winter trip to England was a dream come true.

But only her step-father, the Engineering Geek, knew what other dream would come true in England. The Very Serious Man Friend had called him the day before leaving for London to request permission and blessing to ask for the CGP's hand in marriage. The EG was sworn to secrecy and kept mum until after the CGP told me herself. I could have kept the secret but . . .





On Monday evening, December 22, after several days of sight-seeing in London and the surrounding countryside, the VSMF took the Chem Geek Princess to Hatfield House, the childhood home of Queen Elizabeth I, for a Madrigal Dinner in the Great Hall. The VSMF had made his arrangements well ahead of time, and in the course of the festivities, he was called up and "knighted." The "serving wenches" then brought the CGP up to the head table, and the VSMF got down on one knee and made a flowery proposal speech.

How romantic and how fitting for our Princess.

I have no pictures (yet--they have been promised), but I have been told they have some, and that the couple seated next to them also videotaped it all and will be sending it over. In the meantime, the picture on the right is of the Great Hall at Hatfield House.

My firstborn is GETTING MARRIED!!
And after this fairy-tale engagement story, I can't wait to see what they want to do for the wedding.
I think there is a Bridal Show in Albuquerque in a few weeks . . .

So now, I can't call her fiance the VSMF anymore. Since she is our Chemistry Geek Princess, and since he was "knighted"--all in good fun--I shall call him the Knight Errant.

We will see them Sunday, when they arrive home after spending the weekend in Dallas with the KE's family.

Saturday, December 20, 2008

"Twas the Week Before Winter Break . . .

. . . and all through the house, everyone was stirring with angst and excitment, waiting for snow days, finals, Winter Ball, and the coming of that precious commodity, DOWN TIME.

On Monday, we had the aforementioned bigger, badder snowstorm.


On Tuesday, the sun rose past the ridge on the far south-of-east horizon. The roads had finally been plowed, but the wind kept drifting them over. It was a full-fledged snow day for the Boychick and me.

I planned on spending the day doing some housework in the morning, and then, in the afternoon, editing the introduction to a paper on cortical thickness for Dr. C., my Behavioral Neuropsychology advisor.

I got the dishes washed. I got the counters thoroughly wiped. I got the floor vacuumed and mopped.
But before I went on to do the front hall, the dogs began barking and the doorbell rang. Two Bernalillo County sheriff's Broncos were parked in my driveway. Two peace officers were at the door.

Did I own a blue Ford Focus parked down the hill?

I allowed that I did and told them that I would get it moved as soon as possible, that I was unable to get it up the hill on Monday in the snowstorm. "That's not the problem Ma'am. Somebody broke out the back window."

The deputies drove me down the hill and one of them got the car out of the snowplow-made snowbank. We are still unsure if the window was broken by a vandal or by the snowplow. But everything that I left in the car was still there, including a rather expensive gift for the Boychick in the trunk. I drove the car to the Ford dealership in Edgewood, and spent an hour waiting for them to give me a ride home. Then I spent the rest of the afternoon phoning up the insurance company and determining how to deal with having only one car for a while.



On Wednesday, the roads were clear, and although the high country was covered in white, Albuquerque was sans snow.
The Engineering Geek took his 9/80 day off that he had missed the previous Friday to deal with fixing the car window and getting a claim from the county to pay for it. The police report had determined that the snowplow broke it.

That afternoon, I came home from work, drove the EG into Edgewood to pick up the car and back to the house. We walked the dogs, fed them, and the cats, picked up the Boychick at school, and drove to Albuquerque's West Side. We had given ourselves tickets to a theater simulcast of a live stage performance that was taking place on the east coast. It was called The Christmas Sweater.
Yes, I know! What kind of Jew goes to a Christmas performance?
Although the story was set at Christmas, the themes of forgiveness, second chances, facing life's storms, and finding oneself worthy of happiness are universal.
We enjoyed the performance quite a lot, and the themes have been the occasion for several conversations since, because . . .

Thursday and Friday brought the Boychick's FINALS.
These are the first comprehensive exams he has done, and he was somewhat overwhelmed. He had a bad day on Thursday, because the Humanities final, some of which was take-home, required a great deal of writing. In addition, he had not done the last ten of fifty notecards for his Inquiry Project. So he had to stay after that day to do them.
When I went to get him, I went in to talk to his special education teacher, and we talked about second-chances and getting up to try again.
After a dentist appointment, we went to Men's Wearhouse to buy a suit for . . .

. . . Friday, the night of the EMHS Winter Ball.
The Boychick had a date with a girl. I remembered at the last minute that the boy brings the girl flowers, so on Friday morning I ordered a bouttoniere as well as a wrist corsage for the pretty and bubbly L., a fun date for Winter Ball. I thought it was smart of me to order both from a florist near Men's Wearhouse, since I had to pick up the suit (they did a rush job on the alterations) but since both were near two malls, and it was the Friday before Christmas . . . It took me more than an hour.

But it was worth it! Isn't the Boychick dapper in his new suit? His first, best girl, his dog Lily, just had to get in the picture. Maybe she's jealous of the vivacious L., her rival?

After driving the Boychick to get his date, and bring them to the dance, the Engineering Geek and I had a quiet Shabbat dinner by candlelight. The Boychick reported later that he had a great time at the dance. He recounted the songs the DJ played, none better than "School's Out!" I am not sure he believed me when I told him that that song had been popular when I was in high school.

At any rate, the song is true. School's out for Winter Break.
And so is the UNM.
Sandia is set to go on Winter Shutdown on the 23rd.
We are all more than ready for downtime, board games, Hannukah and hot chocolate.

This morning the EG and I woke with the sunrise (rather than before it) and we lazed about in bed. We had brunch instead of breakfast. I made cinnamon rolls to go with the World Famous Engineering Geek's Good Heat Transfer Cheese and Green Chile Omelet.

We read the paper. The EG and the Boychick listened to the Lady Lobo game on the radio.
I read some blogs.
It's popcorn and board games after the EG and I take a hot bath in our Wonderful Tub.
It's Winter Break.

Ahhhhhh!


Monday, December 15, 2008

Innundated! The Second Storm



See the top of the driveway? There are no vehicles.


This morning, the promised second snowstorm, bigger and badder, came early. It was supposed to be here this afternoon. So I gingerly crept down our hill to take the Boychick to school. I thought I'd be able to go in to work for a few hours at least, before the snow began to fall.


However, it was snowing lightly as I dropped the Boychick at East Mountain High, and it was accumulating on the ice from yesterday. So, prudence being the better part of valor, I decided to hit the grocery store and see how the weather developed.


By the time I got back to EMHS, north 14 was already snowpacked, and I decided to just sign the Boychick out. As I stood in the office, I got the Robo-Phone call; they were dismissing school early.



I ended up taking A. home as well, because both of his parents were still in town and could not leave right away.


We did well until we reached our long, windy road that climbs from the top of Sedillo Hill to our subdivision. I got up the first two hills, slowly. But the ice under the snow, the 6% grade, and the curve on the last hill defeated me. I parked on the same side road that I left Henry the Lonely Red Truck on about two years ago, during the Valentine Storm.


After walking the last mile in the snow, the boys still had the energy to take the dogs out to play in the snow.


Boys are amazing. The dogs have been out in the snow several times today. Zoey (in the foreground with A.), being an old lady now, is having a well-deserved nap.
Lily, on the other hand, loves the snow and can't get enough of it. Here she is, pulling the Boychick for a slide.


After our adventure, I advised the Engineering Geek by phone to make arrangements to stay at the Chem Geek Princess's home tonight. He had his emergency bag in the car, so they will Geek Out tonight, armed with popcorn and movies. I will miss my warm husband tonight, but I just heard that traffic on I-40 East and Route 66 into Tijeras Canyon is in gridlock. Cars are sliding off the road because of the ice hidden under the snow.

So tonight, I have the boys, the dogs and the cats.


The snow continues to fall, and it is predicted to continue through tomorrow evening.
I expect the kids will have a snow day in the morning.
And even if they don't, we aren't going anywhere until we can hike down and dig out our vehicle.


When we bought our vehicles, we lived in town.
We didn't need four-wheel drive.
If I had owned chains, I could have got up the hill today.
You can guess what I will buy when the roads are clear again!


The snow is much deeper so far than predicted. And as dusk creeps in, it is still falling.
I doubt we're going anywhere tomorrow, either.

Friday, November 28, 2008

A Quiet and Snowy Thanksgiving

Our Thanksgiving was a quiet one again this year.
The Chem Geek Princess is traveling. So it was the three of us,
plus the two dogs and two cats, for Thanksgiving dinner.



Just as we wrapped up food preparations, the rain we got yesterday turned to sleet and then snow. The Engineering Geek got the vehicles moved to the top of the impossible-to-climb-in-snow-and-ice driveway.

Then, with the turkey finishing the final two hours of it's nearly 24-hour slow-roast, and the stuffing, sweet potatoes, and green-bean casserole warming in the second oven, the EG and I repaired to our bath.


By the time we got out, the snow had stopped and the view from the bedroom looked like this. The setting sun was playing with the moving clouds to make a blue and white and gold sunset in motion. Beautiful!

Dinner was at five.
We got out the fine China for ourselves, and used our wedding crystal goblets for wine and cider.
After dinner, we watched Jimmy Stewart in It's a Wonderful Life as our tradition demands.
Dessert and coffee followed the movie.

It was a restful day, overall.
In particular, I enjoyed the chance to cook at my leisure, and so I roasted two pumpkins for a pumpkin bread pudding.



This morning dawned with clouds spilling over the Sandias and racing across the sky.

I got the pumpkin bread pudding in the oven early on. It is for a more convivial Thanksgiving/Shabbat we will spend with friends this evening.






Walking the dogs this morning was an adventure.
The driveway was impossibly iced-in, and we could not walk up it for fear of breaking our necks. So we confined our walk to the meadow.

The snow still covered everything; individual blades of grass, pine and scrub oak branches, and this twisted Cholla cactus.

It has been a very nice few days.
And I am looking forward to having a feast with friends tonight.

And this is the time of year where I appreciate anew that I do not have to endure crowds and chaos for "Black" Friday.

Thursday, November 27, 2008

Thanksgiving: A Rainbow Blessing

"You open your hand and satisfy the needs of every living being . . ."

--Birchat ha-Mazon (Blessing After Food)






This morning, as we were preparing for our Thanksgiving Dinner, we looked out and saw this bright rainbow over Rancho Verde. The rainbow came at the beginning of the approaching storm. It is a reminder that storms do come in our lives, but even in the midst of them there is beauty and blessing. As the storm approaches, we give thanks to the Creator who has blessed us with the strength and resolve to see each other through.



The rainbow is a reminder of our blessings, for in the Southwest, at least, rain is always a blessing! There are so many blessings that we have to be thankful for this year and all years, and it is our joy to share those blessings with family and friends, near and far. Our thanks extend to all of those who share this great land with us, and those who protect it with their unceasing vigilance. They are far from home, on the seas and at the borders, and our thoughts go out to them, too.


We are thankful for those who grow the grain, harvest the crops, and bring our food to us. By the work of their hands, we have bread to eat. We are thankful, too, to all of those bright minds whose innovations have improved our lives, and lengthened them, and we are thankful for the strength to share our work with all of them.


Thanksgiving is the quintessential American holiday: a holiday on which productive people rejoice in the plenty that they have made, and give thanks for the riches they have earned.
And for me, the quintessential song for Thanksgiving is Woody Guthrie's Pastures of Plenty:


"Green pastures of plenty from dry desert ground,
From the Grand Coulee dam where the waters run down . . .
My land I'll defend with my life if it be,
For the Patures of Plenty must always be free . . .





Now, the rain is turning to snow. The turkey is browning in the oven, and the house smells of pumpkins roasting, and spices for the cider. We are warm, dry and safe. We have each other, and we each wake up every morning with joy in our hearts and work that needs doing.

It is our prayer that all of you have the same and do the same!

L'chaim! To Life!


Happy Thanksgiving!

Wednesday, November 26, 2008

The Chem Geek Princess Moves (Out) In

NEARLY WORDLESS WEDNESDAY

If you have been wondering where Ragamuffin has been for the past week, well, we've been doing some exciting things, the most important of which is that the Chem Geek Princess has moved out of our house and into one of her very own!
You might not think that moving one young woman from one room would be that time consuming, but . . .

. . . it took a bit of maneuvering to fit the oversize pillow-top mattress and box springs into Henry.

Henry is a big, red truck, but the topper narrows slightly towards the top, and box springs don't bend.

It was 30 MPH down the mountain.






Henry, parked outside the CGP's "little house."
The Engineering Geek is getting ready to unload and one of our 'adopted' daughters has arrived to help.










The Chem Geek Princess and her Very Serious Man Friend wrestle the mattress onto the box springs.












The sunset coming in the south window of the den. The couch and loveseat, both found on Craig's List, match the wall color very well.











The bed, all set up.
It looks very large in the "little house's" master bedroom.
Until she has money to get a headboard, the CGP plans to use a body pillow at the head of the bed.













The Engineering Geek admires the club table with leather chairs we bought for the Chem Geek Princess as a college graduation present.

In the true spirit of frugality, we got it at the American Home Store close-out sale. There is some slight damage to one corner and a nick in the top. But, hey, we got the whole thing for about a quarter of the original price.

That's why the EG is smiling!

The CGP and her VSMF put the tile in last weekend.

So you can see that I was definitely too busy to blog.
The CGP needed almost everything for her new household.
Luckily, there is a Good Will store only a block away.

Never buy retail!


Wednesday, November 19, 2008

West Downtown and The Fourth Ward

NEARLY WORDLESS WEDNESDAY


And the walking tour of Albuquerque continued as we left our unexpected tour of the Kimo Theatre, and walked west along Central towards the Fourth Ward neighborhood, which is situated between Downtown and Old Town.


The El Rey theater is on the western edge of Downtown. This is a live performance space that caters mainly to the over-21 crowd. I have not been there in a while, but I have seen such acts as The Cowboy Junkies, The Indigo Girls, Bayou Seco, and Los Lobos there.
I also helped organize a fundraiser for the New Mexico Greens there, and learned the intricacies of running a theater that serves alcohol.


West of downtown Albuquerque, there is a park at Central and 8th, that serves as the beginning of the Fourth Ward. This area, also developed by Huning, features the graceful mansions of the up-and-coming Albuqueque upper crust circa the late 19th and early 20th century. Here is one, now a law office, with the look of an antebellum southern plantation house.



In the park itself, just off of 8th Street between Central and Copper, stands the most amazing Valley Cottonwood.
One branch makes a near loop, and the old tree is gnarled and yet green and growing.
The students rested beneath it, speculating on how the branches were so bent. Then it on through the Fourth Ward.





Here is the home of one of Albuquerque's German settlers, done good.

Built in the late 1800's, the house features high ceilings, and a large single room on the second floor, the better to catch the summer evening breeze in the days before air conditioning. On the curb in front is a set of carriage steps, the better to alight from the buggy with long skirts.



Near 12th and Central is the location of the old Huning Castle. Built by the railroad tycoon and developer, it was build with a round turret and other features of a medieval castle, but it also had all the modern conveniences of the Gilded Age.

It has been converted into the Huning Castle condominiums, and very little of the original structure remains.





Albuquerque was also the destination of "health seekers," people with 'the consumption' (TB) who came for the clean, dry desert air at altitude. The Fourth Ward has many "TB houses" with the four-sided second floor room featuring nearly floor-to-ceiling windows on all sides, that served as a sleeping porch room for the sick one.

Presbyterian Hospital (just east of the Huning-Highland neighborhood) was founded as a TB hospital, and the original building was featured in the film Infinity, about the early career of Richard Feynman, whose first wife died of TB in Albuquerque during his time at Los Alamos.


Next week: Old Town and San Felipe.

Monday, November 10, 2008

Snows Are Falling On Sedillo Mountain . . .

". . . snows are falling so deep.
Snows are falling on Sedillo Mountain,
putting all the bears to sleep."



Of course, the song is really called "Douglas Mountain" but I couldn't resist changing it to fit our snug little house in the mountains.

I took the picture this morning as I walked the dogs. Neither rain, nor snow nor darkness of night . . . or bad virus, can keep us from taking care of them.

I did go to work at the university this morning. For a total of one hour. And then I went home. This is a nasty virus. I spent the afternoon in bed, listening to the radio, a rare pleasure in my busy life. (Listening to the radio in the middle of the day, that is. Being in bed because I am sick is less than a pleasure).

Now I am in the recliner in the Great Room (as the realtor called it), with a cup of tea--two teaspoons of honey--and the laptop. I am having a hard time thinking about much, and I am feeling so tired that I am not even feeling guilty about the fact that I can't study well. It would take too much energy. So, as the snowfall continues off and on, I have been catching up with some of my favoite blogs.

Sarah, over at Homeschooling the Doctorate, shared a very interesting discussion about the value of a college education. I have enjoyed Sarah's blog over the years, since she and her husband are both getting doctorates while homeschooling. Here at Ragamuffin house, I was getting the doctorate and homeschooling.

Then I stopped by Farmer Ernie's place, Deliberate Wanderer, to see how things are going over at Tanglewood Farm. It seems that Ernie was in an elevator in Chicago this weekend, and he ran into some celebrating Obama supporters. Just one comment: Ernie, didn't you think: "Oh, to be young and naive again!" And over at Tanglewood Farms, on Kathy Jo's blog, irony prevailed when Liberty and Justice (the chickens) died on election night, and Ernie tells us that Heidi the Cow had a bad day!

Perusing right along, I learned that I am not the only one who has seen a child attain a milestone lately! Farmer Ernie and Kathy Jo's eldest has turned 12! And Frankie, over at Kitchen Table Learners, has a new teenager in her house! (Sorry, Frankie, I had to get sick to catch up with you. It was also very good to hear that the new furnace is now installed. I hope you can catch up with your sleep). And over at The Common Room, they have just celebrated a wedding!

Sandy, over at Junkfood Science, recounts a different kind of milestone. The death of one of my favorite authors, Dr. Michael Crighton. May he rest in peace.

On the homeschooling front, Amie has new pictures of her boys and girl over at Boy Story . . . And Beyond! And I love the pictures of the fall that Mom in Madison has put up. Her Wisconsin photos often make me homesick for the midwest! Christine has been thinking a great deal about serious children's novels over at The Thinking Mother, and Susan, over at Corn and Oil, has kept me up with the latest homeschooling politics.

And of course, speaking of politics, I follow blogs across the political spectrum. Since election day, the opinions have flown fast and furious. Some, like Doc, Frankie, and Magpie Ima, were happy about the election results. Others, like me and Rational Jen did not vote for traditional people in the election, although we are still concerned. And many, Farmer Ernie, Kathy Jo, Amie, the Headmistress, and Judy Aaron are deeply concerned about the future of the Republic.

And for a large dose of rational discussion, I checked out the Objectivist Roundup, as I do every week.

And now, as the darkness falls on Sedillo Mountain:

"Trimming the wicks on Sedillo Mountain,

Shining the chimneys so bright,
Trimming the wicks on Sedillo Mountain,

So that G-d can bring on the night . . ."

Saturday, November 8, 2008

Making Ready: Cross Quarter, the Election, and Saecular Winter

Christine over at The Thinking Mother made the following suggestion in her post Election Outcome a few days ago:

"Now that we have elected a new President I have an idea. How about if we all write down our thoughts about our futures and our hopes or worries?"

In her post, she says that is is not necessary to blog it, but just to write it down for our own future reference. I am going to blog it, though I certainly understand why Christine and others might want to be more circumspect.

I have not been paying much attention to the news since Wednesday. The Engineering Geek and I have both caught rather bad colds for the first time in three years. We believe it is a function of the Boychick's return to school and my return to work. More contacts with random people means more viruses we haven't yet had.

But I have been paying attention to the light and the turning of the season. Winter is coming to Sedillo, and Thursday night was the last cross-quarter day of Common Era 2008. Friday morning, the temperature at 5:45 AM was 16 degrees F.

As the sunrise appears to move south of east, the meadow grasses are dried and waving in a cold north wind.

And just as we go through the seasons of the year, our civilization goes through cycles and seasons: summery seasons of civic and economic growth, and winters of civic and economic crisis. In their book The Fourth Turning, Strauss and Howe predicted that at about this time in our history, we'd be entering another winter in the cycle, another crisis in our history, comparable to others such as the American Revolution, the Civil War, or the Great Depression-WW II.

We have elected a new president, and his election is historic, not only because he is the first black president of the US, but because he has been elected at a crucial moment in our history. It is a time of war and economic uncertainty, and a time when our Constitution is in peril. The problems that he has inherited are grave, and they are not the result of the trends of the last eight years, as the campaign rhetoric would have us believe. the man we have elected to this office is relatively inexperienced: he has no executive experience and served in the US Senate for less than one full term. His campaign rhetoric about foreign policy was naive at best, and his progressive economic ideas are unseasonal and out of step with the reality that the Federal government is not only broke, but the valueof the dollar is in question due to the printing of billions, and the economies of developed nations across the world are in trouble. He is, however, a good orator, and he gave a good speech in Chicago on the night of his election. In it he said:

"And to those Americans whose support I have yet to earn – I may not have won your vote, but I hear your voices, I need your help, and I will be your President too." (B. Obama, Nov. 4, 2008).

I am one of those Americans whose support Obama has not yet earned. I am waiting to see whether this high-flown rhetoric is real, or whether the nastiness of his supporters towards those who disagree with them is going to be the order of the day. I hear the words, but I am waiting to see how well Obama can work within his own party to quell the "partisanship and pettiness . . . that has poisoned our politics for so long", (ibid.) as well as how readily he will reach across the aisle to work with those who have different ideas. Will they be supressed or will debate be allowed? The Democrat majority in Congress has, during the last two years, been every bit as willing to supress debate as have the previous Republican majorities. And we are going into this new administration with the same leadership, only more so, of the most disapproved of Congress in the history of the United States.

Here, I need to clearly state that my concerns and views have not been represented in this election by either major-party candidate. The disenfranchisement that I feel comes from the fact that other voices were shut out by the press and the major parties, and that many important issues were not discussed. We got sound bytes and debates in which the argument was about who did not vote or did vote for specific bills, but with no indication of which earmarks or unrelated language decided their votes. Thus the trading of accusations was meaningless. And I was further unimpressed by the treatment that Sarah Palin received from the Obama supporters. Although I disagree with Palin on many issues, I was apalled by this kind of behavior. It makes me wonder what Obama means by the word 'unity.' Does it mean forced, lockstep agreement, or does it mean bringing consensus from varied viewpoints and within the mandate of the Constitution? I hope for the latter, but given the vituperative nature of the campaigns, I am prepared for the former.

As an American who loves and respects the Constitution of the United States, I accept Obama as the Constitutionally elected President of the United States. However, my loyalty must be to the US Constitution, not to his person, or the person of any president or government official. Government is our servant, not our master; the duty of government is to protect our rights, not to save the world. I am uncertain as to whether Obama and his supporters understand this. (I am certain that his predecessor did not). I will know by what he does and not what they say. At his inauguration, he will swear to preserve and defend the Constitution of the United States, and in this duty I wish him success and resilience. The Presidency is an awesome job and a great responsibility, and so I wish him health, long life, and good courage. But I do not promise him unquestioning loyalty or unwavering support. That would be inappropriate. I am a citizen, not a subject.

I believe that the crisis that is coming could not have been averted no matter who had won the presidency. As I said in response to a comment on a previous blog entry:

"Sooner or later you have to pay the piper; he is at the door, bill in hand."

The longer we try to stave off the pain, the worse it will be when we finally face it. So, just as the birds are gathering their seeds for the coming winter, we have been preparing for the coming hard times. Not with panic, but with purpose. We have stocked up reserves of food and other necessary items, in case the current printing blitz at the US Treasury leads to inflation. We have moved investments out of the country, because Obama has promised much higher capital gains tax rates. Such high tax rates have historically supressed investment, profit-taking, capitalization, and trade. We have also purchased a hunting rifle and ammunition for the Boychick, because Obama has promised to raise taxes on them. Hunting is a good way to supplement the food supplies if the recession deepens or a depression comes. The Boychick has passed his BSA badges for the rifle and the shotgun. The Engineering Geek, being a veteran, already has a rifle and a side-arm.

Frankly, I remember the Carter years, and his economic policies (which were a deepening of Nixon's and Johnson's) led to stagflation and misery for the middle class and working people. Obama's economic plans are very similar to Carter's. So I am expecting an economy like the '70's or worse.

But even though I am expecting hard times, I am not unhopeful about the future of the country. My hope does not rest upon the president, nor upon the leadership of the government; rather it rests in the wisdom of our forefathers and in the Constitution. As Thomas Jefferson said:

""It would be a dangerous delusion were a confidence in the men of our choice to silence our fears for the safety of our rights... Confidence is everywhere the parent of despotism. Free government is founded in jealousy, and not in confidence. It is jealousy and not confidence which prescribes limited constitutions, to bind down those whom we are obliged to trust with power... Our Constitution has accordingly fixed the limits to which, and no further, our confidence may go... In questions of power, then, let no more be heard of confidence in man, but bind him down from mischief by the chains of the Constitution." --Thomas Jefferson: Draft Kentucky Resolutions, 1798. ME 17:388

And so, as we pass the fourth cross-quarter, and move into this year's winter, I believe we are also passing into the Saecular Winter, a time of testing and crisis. The Spirit of America has been there before, and has come forth stronger.

As Judy Aaron says in the sidebar of her blog, Consent of the Governed:

"The answer to 1984 is 1776. Teach your children well . . ."

Our Constitution is in peril. If we are to emerge from the hard times ahead with our values in tact, our children must know what the Constitution says, and they must see us prepared to act upon threats to it. The greatest threat to it is the unqualified trust we have put in our government of late. We must let them know who is the servant and who is the master. It may be that the historic nature of this election can be useful for teaching our children more carefully about their rights and the proper way for Americans to secure them.

Wednesday, October 29, 2008

Albuquerque Walking Tour II: Downtown

NEARLY WORDLESS WEDNESDAY



Last week I blogged about our walking tour of Huning-Highlands Neighborhood of Albuquerque.
After we had coffee, and walked around the newly rennovated Old Albuquerque High School Complex, we crossed south of Central Avenue to wander the streets of the Near-East Downtown area, and then crossed the railroad tracks into downtown proper on the Lead Avenue Overpass.
As we walked through the First Baptist Church complex (it was the first non-Catholic church in the center of ABQ) at the edge of Huning-Highland, we could look west and see the old and new buildings of Downtown.

At the far left fore is the Sunshine Bank building, and behind it, the Quest Building. The skyscraper in the Middle is the Albuquerque Bank Building, and in front of it is the Convention Center. To the right is the Hyatt Hotel.



Looking west across the tracks from the Near East Downtown Neighborhood, we look directly at the the Old Alvarado Hotel--Harvey House area. This burned down in two stages. Long before we lived in Albuquerque, the hotel was lost, and about 20 years ago, the Old Train Station burned. Oddly enough, it did so when I was visiting family in Illinois. When I left, I left from the Old Train Station. When I came home, the station was a pile of burnt rubble.

The Near-East Downtown area has many graceful old homes that were rented by railroad workers and by the Harvey House management to board their employees.



The newly-built Alvorado Transportation Center on First Street south of Central Avenue, in Downtown proper, west of the tracks.

The Atchinson, Topeka and the Santa Fe (a.k.a. "the Santa Fe Railroad") was brought to Albuquerque by Oscar Huning, the tycoon who developed the Huning-Highlands neighborhood and the Country Club neighborhood further west.




The architecture of the old Occidental Life Insurance Building (now Tally Systems) was based on one of the Moorish building in Cordova, Spain. It has the graceful Arabic arches and stylized cross windows that mark this style, and yet inside the arches, the glass windows are thouroughly modern. This is typical of American city architecture from the Rococco period.





Albuquerque's first skyscraper, the Sunshine building is now home to the Sunrise Bank. The Sunshine Theatre still occupies the northwest corner of the first floor. In the lobby of the bank, a modern elevator with bronze doors stands right next to the old elevator that had cast-iron cage doors. One of the parents on the tour had a great-aunt who used to be an elavator operator in the Sunshine building.


At the bottom-center of the picture is the Boychick's friend A, in the green shirt. In front of A and to the left (next to the white truck) is the Boychick's back, jacket flung over his shoulder and the Fedora on his head.





At then heart of Downtown, on Fourth and Central, is one of the old Ilfeld buildings, now lovingly restored.
The Ilfelds were German Jews, who brought Reform Judaism to Albuquerque. They crossed the plains with the Railroad to Las Vegas New Mexico, which had the first Askenazi congregation in New Mexico. Some of the family, along with Albert Grunsfeld, and the Seligmans, founded Congregation Albert (named after the Grunsfeld patriarch), the oldest Reform synagogue west of the Pecos and East of the Sierra. Solomon Bibo, another founder, took an Indian wife and served as the first non-native governor of Acoma Pueblo.


The building now houses Nick's Diner--very good Greek and American food--and has apartments above.

Next week: The old Kimo Theater restored!

Tuesday, October 21, 2008

I'm Ba-a-a-ack! (DSL is Up and Running)

Actually, it was up at the end of last week.

But it was Fall Break at UNM.
That meant that instead of doing my blog, we:
1) winterized the dog run
2) escorted a field trip--a walking tour of parts of Albuquerque for the New Mexico history course at EMHS--cool pictures will be featured on the Nearly Wordless Wednesday for the next few weeks!
3) spent time in the Sukkah
4) slept!

Last night I had planned to do some blogging. At 2:15 MDT, I got a call from the nurse at EMHS.
The Boychick had been tackled on the soccer field. His knee was alarmingly swollen. (Tackled? Soccer? It was an accident. Freshman boys are such baby bears!)
So I spent the remaining part of the day this way:
1)driving from UNM to EMHS
2) using the nurse's phone to make an Urgent Care appointment at UNM Peds Clinic
3) driving to UNM Peds with a stop for a teriaki bowl on the way because we knew it would be a long night
4) dropping the Boychick off at the entrance
5) parking and meeting said Boychick
6) limping to Peds
7) waiting to be triaged
8)waiting to have the knee X-rayed
9) waiting to see the Dr.
10) going to the pharmacy for pain meds and a brace

No time for blogging!

The Boychick has no fractures. His kneecap is badly bruised and may be sprained. Time will tell. In the meantime, he has been prescribed RICE (Rest, Ice, Compression, Elevation).

So for now, I am at home. Cleaning out my clogged in-box and my equally messy desk.

Technology. It's great when it works.

Sunday, October 12, 2008

Hidden in Plain Sight: Yom Kippur the Aspie Way

Yom Kippur happened (and believe me, it is a happening!) for the 25 hours from sundown Wednesday to Thursday night.

The services were beautiful and the Erev Yom Kippur/Kol Nidrei sermon was good. It does seem as if the choir reaches towards perfection as the Holy Days end. I imagine that can chalked up to the practice effect.

The Boychick does not look forward to Yom Kippur, however, because it involves more lengthy services and a much larger crowd than a regular Shabbat service.
I make him go, nevertheless, because this is part of his identity, and because he needs to develop his sitzfleisch--his ability to deal with these situations.

But I alter the requirements. He must stay through the Amidah (the standing prayer) for the evening service, but he is free to leave when the rabbi rises for the sermon.
In the morning service, he must stay through the Torah service, and again, can leave for the sermon and closing prayers.
The morning service is longer than the evening one because of the Torah service, but he has more energy to deal with it all for a longer time in the morning.

Even with these alterations, the services are difficult. After Kol Nidrei was sung on Wednesday night, the Boychick became clausterphobic. He was able to stay in the service, only by lying back in the seat as I rubbed his shoulders with deep pressure. After about two pages in the Machzor--the High Holy Day prayerbook--of shoulder rubbing, he went to sleep.
Sometimes, he will become restless and engage in body stereotypies (tic-like behaviors such as the classic hand-flapping seen in Autism Spectrum Disorders). Many times, even in the smaller and shorter Machon services (fifteen minutes at the end of religious school), he will be unable to sit up and follow the service attentively--he will shut down.

All of these things are very difficult for me, as well.
I look around the sanctuary and see kids a few years younger than he, dressed in suits whereas the Boychick wears comfortably worn clothes--neatly pressed--and truly atrociously worn tennis shoes rather than oxfords. Those other kids are sitting up straight, following the services, and I feel like an inadequate mother.
I get those looks from people around us. Some of you know which looks I mean.
Looks meant to tell me that I am an inadequate mother. That I should discipline my son and make him behave in the expected, neurotypical fashion.

I even get such looks from the Bimah.
These looks come from the rabbi and the cantor--people who are aware of that the Boychick is not neurotypical, that he does have an ASD, and that being an Aspie results in differences in neurological functioning.

I think the problem is that disabilities like Asperger Syndrome are hidden. They are hidden in plain sight, so to speak.
Although I can tell when I am seeing AS behaviors in others, this is because I am acutely aware of the symptoms. And in my professional work in neuropsychology, I deal with the differences in brain functioning that result in the neurobehavioral differences.

But other people do not automatically connect the behaviors with the disability, even though they have been made aware of the disability.
Kids with AS just look too "normal." There is no cane, no wheelchair, no obvious cognitive deficiency. No physical manifestations point to differences in functioning.
To make it all the more difficult, neurological behavioral symptoms tend to be extremely variable. The nature and extent are determined by a host of environmental factors that change how sensory input is received and processed by the brain.
This variability is often misinterpreted to mean that the difficult neurobehavioral manifestations can be controlled.

For example, the Boychick had great difficulty at the beginning of the Yom Kippur morning service. He was using stereotypies, he needed to lean against my shoulder, and he could not keep his kippah on at all. But during Yizkor and Neilah (the late afternoon services), he was able to sit up straight, read the prayerbook, and follow the service. He looked much more competent and put together. So it is that people who do not understand the nature of neurological disabilities tend to think "see, he can behave, if he sets his mind to it, so he should do so every time." And if he doesn't, they believe that it is a deliberate choosing not to behave on his part.

Thus those looks.
They are directed at the Boychick and they are directed at me.
They are the reason that the Boychick's considerable talents are largely dismissed at our synagogue.
Other kids past Bar Mitzvah age are often given Bimah honors at certain services.
The Boychick is not ever asked.
Although the Boychick has shown excellent skills in mentoring younger kids at camp, at Scouts and in other settings, it is very unlikely he will be selected as a madrich--a teacher's assistant--in the Hebrew school.

He just looks too normal for his Aspie behaviors to be placed in context by neurotypicals.

It all grates.
On me.

The Boychick doesn't seem to notice.
He is developing in his atypical, Aspie way.
But he is developing.
This Yom Kippur, he did better than last.
He is hugging people. he has learned to respond to them when he is greeted, even if he doesn't look them in the eye.
He told me "yasher koach (may your strenth be straight)--you chanted beautifully" when I came back to our seats after chanting the Yom Kippur morning Haftarah.

And I?
I practice not comparing him to the other kids.
I enjoy rubbing his shoulders through the book of Jonah.
I try not to take those looks seriously.
"If you only knew," I think back at the grimmacers. "If you could only see how differently these kids think, if you could only experience their peculiar genius, how much richer your life could be! These kids are the Einsteins, the Edisons, the Glenn Goulds of the future." (All of these great people, as well as others whose genius has enriched human life, are thought to have manifested signs of Asperger Syndrome).

It did appear as if the Boychick was shut down through parts of the services.
But he was far more aware than we knew.
This morning, while reading the Sunday paper, he mentioned that Mosul, Iraq, is in Ninevah province. And that Christians there are being driven from their homes there by Al Quaida.
"No wonder," he said, "that Jonah did not want to go there. His book is right. The Ninehvites cleary don't know their right hands from their left. That great city."

And that is why I will keep taking him to services.
Even though his odd behavior is sometimes disturbs the prejudices of neurotypicals.
He is a Jew. And an Aspie. Both are his identity.

In part of the Vidui, the confession, on Yom Kippur we say:
"We shunt aside those whose youth or age disturbs us."
I silently add: "We shunt aside those whose odd way of being disturbs us."
And we all say together:
"Forgive us, pardon us, grant us atonenment."

For dismissing those whose differences disturb us.

Sunday, October 5, 2008

Aspen Gold & Shofars Blow: Week of Mixed Blessings

Autumn comes to the High Country.
Rosh HaShannah.
Bad Filters.
Politics.
The Cubs.


This past week has been one of great changes in moods and meanings. And only today, as the new week begins, did I notice . . .


The Aspens have turned gold and the oaks are brown and orange in the high Sandia Mountain Front. (One golden patch of Aspen is just below the leftmost patch of cloud on the mountain peak).

The Holy Days began Monday evening--
Erev Rosh HaShanah.
Wednesday morning, (second day)
the Holy Congregation
assembled the lovely tents of Israel
at Oak Flat, in the South Sandias.

"Ma tovu ohalecha, Yisrael . . ."

"Oh, how lovely are your tents O Israel,

Your dwelling places, O Jacob!"




Shofar, Torah, and Challah, which is round for the Holy days, in a mishkan--a portable sanctuary--the east meadow at Oak Flat.

Rosh Hashanah is called Yom HaZikaron--a day for remembering. Remembering the power inherent in creation, the birth of the world, the binding of Isaac, the sweetness and goodness of life.



But it was hard to forget what was going on outside the sanctuary in town or the mishkan in the mountains: Financial Meltdown, the high treif (unfit food e.g. pork) bail-out, the meanness and division of this political season.


Blowing the Shofar:
the powerful tekiah--calling the assembly;
the broken shevarim--for mourning and remembrance;
the staccato truah--for warning and battle;
the long tekiah gedolah--that ends abuptly.
"Areshet s'fateinu . . .
Accept the offering of our lips, the sound of the Shofar."


By the end of the service I felt sunburned and grumpy,
beautiful though it all was.
I stayed too long.
I must remember: come in peace (I did--I opened the gate for everyone) and go in peace (I didn't).
And in the evening, I had to return to work.



Full force, it all returned: the campaign sniping, the smears on the candidates, and the disenfranchisment of the tax-payers by vote-selling in Congress, the Cubs lost the first play-off game, Joe Biden's teeth, once the service was over. Filtering. I need to learn it.



The end of the week was a blur of catching up at work, getting angry at Congress, and dealing with a broken water-heater and a flooded laundry room. Friday afternoon, the Boychick and I arrived home to find the water-heater leaking and flooding the garage alcove where it stands, as well as the laundry room on the other side of the wall. It was the strangest Shabbat we've had in six-and-a-half years of marriage. Bad news: the breech and the flood. Then good news: it was a nipple on a T-joint of the valve--no need to buy a new water heater. Then the bad news--the was impossible to remove the nipple--it was that corroded. Then the good news--a trip to town to get the right tool and a replacement valve would solve it. The bad news--no water to the house until the new valve was replaced. Good news--we could make Home Depot before closing time, if we hurried. A mixed blessing: Shabbat dinner at a Sonic Drive-In on Central Avenue after getting the tool. (Bad--very un-shabbosdik, good--hunger is the best sauce). Good news--I managed to be flexible enough to roll with it all by this time. More bad news--the Cubs lost. Good news--the Engineering Geek--every my anchor during household disasters--got the water back on by midnight. As Ma Ingalls would say: All's well that ends well.


Saturday night went well.
The Boychick had his first high school dance.
It was also the first homecoming for East Mountain High School. And the first dance in their new gym.

In honor of all the firsts, the Boychick wore his Fedora and ironed his jeans.
He's too young for dating, so he met friends there. And he danced with the charming L., his first dance with a girl other than his sister.


So the week ended well after all.




Except the Cubs lost. Three games against the Dodgers.


Sigh.
It's going to be a rough year.