Where Are You Going, My Little One?

This morning, as I was placing his daily cup of hot chocolate breakfast drink before him, N. announced:

Well, today is the last day!"

"The last day of what?" I queried absently, thinking more about adding figures to my hypothesis paper than about what he was saying.

"Kamana." He replied. "Actually, Kamana I. Today I will listen to the cd about bird language, reflect on finding my secret spot and then take the "Alien Test."

"Well, then," I said. "After you do that, we will need to copy the pages that Wilderness Awareness School will want to see so that you can send in for your certificate. And we will have to order the supplies for Kamana II."

Inside myself I was thinking: "What? How did he get here so fast!" You see, he took charge of the whole thing. I was not even aware of where he was in the program. All I did was make sure that he had supplies he needed as well as drive him to the library so that he could check out supplemental nature books. And I read to him.

In the meantime, we did do some study about the Shoah--at his suggestion--but I was not teaching.

So somewhere deep within, I think I was wondering if the "guide on the side" method really worked.

There was an inkling of doubt about the whole unschooling approach. I mean, it works for those other kids--the perfect ones--but mine? He's not normal--but in a good way. But still...

I am really glad that I did not let myself get in the way.

Oh, every once in a while I would ask him about his progress. He'd tell me how to tell the difference between dog and coyote tracks. Or where to look for bear scat. Evidently, Ursa is picky about his toileting habits.

Last week, he snuck up on me while I was typing and nearly caused me to bolt from my chair. "I was practicing the 'fox-walk' Mom!"

So why do I feel surprised by his independence?

Or am I suffering preliminary "empty-nest" syndrome? This is what it means to be a mother: Watching your beloved child walk off into the sunset. Again. And again. And again.

It's a bittersweet moment every time.

"Where are you going, my little one, my little one?

Where are you going, my baby, my own.

Turn around and you're two,

Turn around, and you're four,

Turn around and you're a young man, just going out the door."

A Black Day

Where were you when you heard about the black day at Virginia Tech?

I was sitting in the SUB (Student Union Building) at The University of New Mexico. I had just completed a test and I was feeling pretty satisfied with it. I was setting up my computer to read my e-mail and check the blogs I follow. Then I heard the sound of shooting.

It was coming from the giant flat-screen in the corner near where I was sitting. And as I listened to the eye-witness accounts, I was thinking that I was seated in front of a floor-to-ceiling plate-glass window. If someone with a gun were to decide the shoot at the SUB..... well, I would be in harm's way. I didn't move.

As one does, at times like this, I was thinking that the peaceful scene outside the window--newly leafed-out trees swaying in the wind, undergraduates going by in flip-flops with eighty pound backpacks, a couple holding hands at a table outside--felt like it was not in the same world where this tragedy happened.

Thirty-three lives. Gone. Just...like...that.

It was hard to come back to my world...the one on a campus where such a thing would never happen. Would it?

There will be much to say in the coming days about the how's and the why's. I am sure there will be finger-pointing, calls for legislation, hand-wringing and lawsuits. I may even have an opinion or two. Maybe. Next week.

But for now, it is a time to think about the loss of 33 individuals--people with dreams, goals, joys and sorrows. Gone. Just. Like. That.

The Carnival of Homeschooling: A "Taxing" Proposition

The 68th Carnival of Homeschooling is up over at The Cates--Why Homeschool?

For the humor about taxes alone, it is worth a trip over. But there are also a number of thoughtful and interesting articles to read. I look forward to it every week. This week, especially, a diversion is a good thing.

Remembering and Understanding: Studying Yom Ha-Shoah

We have been talkin about WWII lately. N. has taken to reading the newspaper and then he asks a lot of questions. He is starting to link what happened in the past to what is happening in the present. And yesterday was Yom Ha-Shoah--Holocaust Memorial Day.

It is always hard to know how to present the massive evil that was the Shoah to a sensitive young adolescent. We want him to understand the precursors to the Shoah--Christian anti-Judaism going back to the 5th century, it's virulent and racist descendent, European anti-semitism, WWI, the economic crisis in Germany in the 1920's, the weakness of the Weimar republic...there is just so much that must be understood to even begin to get a grasp on what happened to our people in Europe.

And then there is the emotional side. The thought that "it could have been me," is very real when you walk into synagogue past a policeman every Shabbat.

This year, as N. started asking questions, we decided on a two-part approach. First, we read some of the modern history chapters in the Kingfisher Encyclopedia of World History together. (We are doing ancient history this year, but we let N.'s curiousity about the Shoah guide us for a while). This helped N. understand that the events did not come out of nowhere and that there are always reasons for what people do, even when those reasons are irrational. It also provided a bridge to talk about some of the background for what is happening today with the U.S. War on Terror. A question that N. has brought up again and again has to do with when it is important to fight and perhaps die for something greater than yourself. This is a very important question for the people of the West right now. Is there ever a time when that is right?

So we studied the Jewish Partisans who fought back against the Nazis. We discussed the importance of resisting evil and of the necessity, sometimes, to stake one's life on important values: life and liberty for yourself and others. This, we explained was "black resistance"--violent resistance to oppression and death. This was the resistance of the Warsaw Ghetto uprising. N. found the "Partisan's Song" on the web, and I taught him the tune.

We also discussed "white resistance"--resistance by subterfuge, by protecting others, by sabotage. This was the resistance of the Righteous Gentiles, those Europeans who tried to help. And it was often the subtle resistance of our people in the camps. People who understood that survival was resistance. That remaining a human being in an inhuman situation was resistance. MLC taught N. another song that goes with the "white resistance," Ani Ma Amin--I believe.

We talked about the phenomenon of Holocaust denial, the reasons why people deny really aweful events. There are personal, political and psychological reasons why this is so. And we talked about the importance of remembering for our Jewish culture and in the dominant culture. We discussed how Yom Ha-Shoah is observed in Israel. There, a siren goes off at a certain time, and everyone stops where they are. If you are in a car you just stop on the road. If you are walking somewhere, you stop. Everyone observes 6 minutes of silence. We talked about how long that can seem. We asked if 6 minutes, 1 minute for every 1 million Jews who were murdered in the Shoah is even enough.

We finished all of this study with a ceremony last night. We had received a candle for Yom Ha-Shoah for the Federation of Jewish Men's Club. They also provided a meditation to be said when lighting it. The focus was that the next generation should not forget.

We gathered in the kitchen at sunset. N. lit the candle. We read the meditation. We observed 6 minutes of silence. Then we sang two songs.

The Partisan's Song

Zog nit keyn mol az du geyst dem letstn veg!Khotsh himeln blayene farshtein bloye teg. Kumen vet nokh unzer oysgebenkte sho Es vert a poyk ton undzer trit - mir zeynen do!

Never once say you walk upon your final way though skies of steel obscure the blue of day. Our long awaited hour will draw near and our footsteps will thunder - We are Here!

Vun grinem palmenland biz vaysn land fun shney Mir kumen on mit undzer payn, mit undzer vey Un vu gefallen es iz a shprits fun unzer blut Shprotsn vet dort undzer gvure, undzer mut.

From a land of green palms to a white land of snow, We march on with our pain and with our woe; And there where a spray fell of our blood, there our strenght and courage yet will bud!

Es vert di morgenzun bagilden unz dem haynt Un der nekhtn vet farshvindn mitn faynd Nor oyb farzamen vet di zun in dem kayor Vi a parol zol geyn dos lid fun dor tsu dor.

The morning sun will rise and brighten the day and yesterday's night will fade away, But if the sun delays in rising to the dawn then like a watchword pass this song on and on!

Dos lid geshribn iz mit blut un nit mit blay Es iz nit keyn lidl fun a foygl af der fray Dos hot a folk tsvishn falendike vent Dos lid gezungen mit naganes in di hent!

This song is written with blood and not with pencil lead it's no song sung freely by birds flying overhead. So a people among the falling walls made their last stand and this song they sang with pistols in their hand!

Zog nit keyn mol az du geyst dem letstn veg Khotsh himeln blayene farshtein bloye teg. Kumen vet nokh unzer oysgebenkte sho, Es vert a poyk ton undzer trit - mir zeynen do!

Never once say you walk upon your final way though skies of steel obscure the blue of day. Our long awaited hour will draw near and our footsteps will thunder - We are Here!

We finished by singing:

Ani Ma Amin

Ani ma-amin, ani ma-amin, ani ma-amin. B'emunah shleima. B'viat ha-Mashiach, ani-ma amin! Ve-af al-pi, v'it mameyah, ani-ma-amin. Im kol zeh, ani-ma-amin.

I believe with complete faith in the coming of the Messiah. I believe. Even though he tarry, Still, I believe.

N. ended the ceremony by quoting the last words of Daniel Pearl, who was murdered by terrorists in 2002:

"I am a Jew and the son of a Jew."

This brought us from events of the past into the present state of our world.

We then quietly left, one by one, and the candle burned all night in the window.

There is something very effective about ending a unit of study that is so emotional using ritual and ceremony. This connects the emotional to the rational, and helps us experience history as full human beings.

Deja Vu All Over Again! The Friday the 13th Snowstorm

On Friday afternoon, we came home to see N. walking up the hill to the house in the snow.
Yes, really! It is pretty unusual for central New Mexico to get snow this late in April, even in the mountains. He told us that he had build a wickiup in the forest and had studied the insulating properties of snow. Next winter, we'll have to teach him the use of a psychrometer. This time he just used a thermometer.

Bruce and I were at the synagogue Thursday night, and I stayed in town on Friday morning because I had a review session for our last exam in Neurobiology (coming on Monday afternoon) and then class after that. I kept in touch with N. and MLC., who were at home. Apparently, it snowed all day. When I talked to MLC at 4 PM, she was concerned that I would not be able to get Henry, the big red truck, up the hills to our development. Poor Henry! He doesn't have 4WD so slippery hills are tricky!

I talked to my husband (he was at work at Sandia) and we decided to park Henry at the grocery store--we needed a few things--and drive home together in his Focus, which has front wheel drive. So we secured Henry and started off. (I was remember February 13th when I did not heed N.'s warnings about the snow and ended up sliding Henry down the hill backwards to Alta Vista). It was raining miserably in ABQ. Just east of Carnuel, it was snowing. By Tijeras Village it was sticking. Snow was Packed on the sides of the road at Zuzax, where we exit the freeway. Old Route 66 was snow packed when we were half-way up Sedillo Hill. But the snow was so wet, that I think I could have got Henry all the way up Via Sedillo and home. But better safe than sorry!

By the time we arrived home, there was 4 inches of very wet snow in the snow guage! Amazing weather. I mean we expect frost until around Mother's Day--but our last snow is usually on April Fool's day, if we get any in late March and April at all! But this year, we had snow last weekend and this weekend!

BUT...we need to be grateful. Every bit of precipitation is a blessing after the last ten years of drought!

This morning, the snow was heavy on the eaves of the house and there were icicles hanging down, as well. I put the towel for boots and another for the dogs by the front door. The pellet stove was fired up. If not for the spring solar angle, it would have seemed like January all over again!

But this was definitely a spring snowstorm. The snow was very heavy and wet, and the trees

were weighed down to an extraordinary degree. The light was spring light, and by afternoon, it was 58 degrees outside and felt like spring. Water was cascading off the roof and the icicles were gone.

Our morning walk was definitely a wintry feeling walk, and we got a good picture of a snow-bent tree over on Shultz Road.

But this afternoon, when MLC and I had our toes done in Albuquerque, we wore short sleeves and sandles. Go figure.

Welcoming Strangers: The Interfaith Hospitality Network

Congregation Albert, our synagogue in Albuquerque, has become the first Jewish congregation to participate in the Interfaith Hospitality Network.







IHN provides and shelter and assitance to homeless families in the community. About once every three months, a participating congregation will provide shelter, food and entertainment for up to four families for a week. The families arrive on Sunday afternoon, and depart the following Sunday afternoon. Our families arrived last Sunday--which was Easter Sunday--so Congregation Albert had its first-ever Easter Egg Hunt for the children. It was Passover, still, so I am told there were some rather humorous substitutions on the Easter candy front. This week, Congregation Albert has provided a hot meal each evening, a room to each family, breakfast, a sack-lunch,help with homework and entertainment. Each week day, one of our members drives the families in a van to the IHN Day Center, from which the children are sent to school or day-care, and the parents can do laundry, shower, use telephones and computers to look for jobs, housing and other necessary social services. They have the services of a social worker available to them as well.






You can imagine that volunteer opportunities abound for the members of the participating congregations. Last night, Bruce and I did our stint as overnight hosts. It was the easiest volunteer job I have ever done! We slept for much of it! LOL!


We arrived at 8 PM, while the families were putting their children to bed. We had a snack and conversed with the parents, who retired at around 10 PM. We secured the building and then retired ourselves, on roll-away beds provided by IHN. (The congregation provides linens for the families, but the overnight hosts bring their own, since there are different hosts each night). We rose at 5:45 and woke the families at 6 AM, helped with breakfast and getting children ready for the day. They were on the van at 7:30 and we cleaned up and were out by 8 AM.





I got to feed a little baby his breakfast bottle! I love babies, and it is still some years before we can expect grandchildren. That made my day. The families were good people who need a hand-up to get back on their feet. Wow, there's a mixed metaphor. So many families are just one crisis away from homelessness. If you are interested in this kind of work, I have provided the local link, which in turn can link you to the national organization.





In the Jewish tradition, we have a value called Hakhnasat Orchim, which means welcoming strangers. It is modeled after the story of Abraham, who welcomed the three "strangers" who turned out to be Malachim, messengers of the Eternal. Every day, when praying the morning service, we recite a portion from Pirke Avot (Wisdom of the Fathers), which states:





"These are the obligations without measure, the fruits of which are tasted in this world and in the world to come, these are they: To honor father and mother, visit the sick, bury the dead, clothe the naked, welcome the stranger, rejoice with bride and groom, visit the house of study evening and morning, to pray with intention, to make peace between a person and (his or her) comrade, and the study of Torah is equal to them all (because it leads to them all)."





These are all obligations to the community, even the study of Torah, which is done as a Kehilla (community). That is why you taste the fruits in the present--for the reward is companionship and community.





So IHN is a wonderful way for our congregation to fulfill the mitzvah, the commandment, to welcome the stranger. And it helps us to bring holiness into the world (this is the fundamental "job" of the Jew) through acts of loving kindness. We were told that in ABQ, 3,000 people every day are without a bed for the night, and the number of homeless families is growing.





N. wanted to come and read to the children last night, citing his obligation to Hakhnasat Orchim, but we ended up leaving him at home with his sister to take care of the dogs. I have an early afternoon study session today, so I am in-town all day! He did not want to follow me around here. (All the better since, believe it or not, it is snowing on the West Mesa and in the mountains. It is raining in ABQ proper! The NWS sure missed it when they predicted a dry spring in the Long Term Regional Forcast). But we told him he was fulfilling his obligation by making it possible for us to be away overnight without worry about the dogs.




Sorry, no pictures. We have to protect the privacy of our guests! I have put a few pictures of our synagogue instead.

I'm In the Mood for Poetry: Carnival of Homeschooling #67

Pesach ended at sunset this evening, and what a gorgeous one it was! It just makes me want to burst out in poetry!

I spent this morning getting the kitchen returned to normal by cleaning out, washing, drying and putting away all of the Pesadikh utensils and dishes. I integerated the Passover food into the regular pantry and removed the signs that identified the Pesadikh (permissible) cabinets and those that were chametzdikh (not permissible).

I spent the rest of the day thinking about our upcoming mock trial and then watching the mock trial for the teams that went today. Finally, at 7:30 PM I met my family at Dion's Pizza--we have the family tradition of eating Pizza and salad on the night that Pesach ends.

Ahhh! I feel full, really completely full, for the first time since the Seder. It is funny, but although we eat and eat during Pesach, it is just not as satisfying as when we get leavened foods.

I am now in the mood for Poetry! And that's what's up at this week's Carnival of Homeschooling over at Apollos Academy. The Tutor has set this week's theme to Poetry.

How wonderful it is to relax and check out the meter and the rhyme. So join me over at Apollos for important and interesting reads!