Another Trip Around the Sun, Almost "Old and Wise'

As I mentioned in the previous post, today is my birthday. I am starting another trip around the sun today.
Since I am nearing fifty, the Boychick told me that I am almost "old and wise."

Thanks, kid. Can I take the wise without the old, please?

Here is my birthday song this year, Alan Parson's Old and Wise, from Eye in the Sky:




" . . . And someday, in the mist of time,
If they asked me if I knew you,
I'd smile and say you were a friend of mine.
And the sadness would be lifted from my eyes.
When I'm old and wise."

Aspie Spring Term: A Proactive Stance

Today is my birthday.

As usual, my birthday is on one side or the other of the line between break and a return to reality. For the Engineering Geek, it was a return to reality, and he went off down the snowy road to work today. For the Boychick, today is the absolutely last day to sleep until noon. He still hasn't gotten dressed, but he did get clothes into the washer.

For me, today is both . . . and . . .
I am at home today, and although I considered going into town, since the Boychick wanted to sleep late, I decided against it. But, there was work for me to do to get us ready for the spring term. The fun part was a good e-mail from my neuropsychology mentor. I have several new assignments that ought to carry me to the end of January, all related to getting a paper published.

Another part is for me to begin preparing for the Boychick's IEP--which is going to be collaborative between me, his special education teacher, and the Boychick himself. The eligibility will be Autism (it has taken years to get to this for various reasons) and I want the goals to broadly address his social and educational needs, so that we can work on skills that transcend any particular subject matter. For example, I want us to address the issue of working memory. Although there are those who say that WM cannot be improved much past the age of 13, new studies about the brain development of children with AD/HD, ASD and other developmental problems, as well as for gifted children, show that peak cortical thickness and the subsequent thinning that marks the maturing brain come later in all of these groups. So it is possible that working on working memory (sorry, couldn't resist!) could spark some improvement.

As I was dredging my virtual files (all stored on thumbdrives) for papers about this, I got sidetracked by another start-of-term chore: dealing with Machon (Jewish Education). As I wrote towards the end of last term, there were problems (again) for the Boychick at Machon. The problems could have been nipped in the bud had the Education Director done the following:

• read the material I sent along about AS and passed it on to the teachers
• read the information about the Boychick and AS and passed it on to the teachers
• read the e-mail I sent her that informed her that I would be sitting in the lounge and available to help should there be any problem with the Boychick whatsoever.

I got sidetracked because I found the information I had sent out last September, along with my e-mails dealing with the problem, in my files on AS, ASD, and the Boychick.

So I edited my The Boychick and AS Information for Machon file and sent that (again) to the synagogue Director of Jewish Ed (DJE), along with a note that included the following:

"I would like the opportunity to meet with the Boychick's teachers to make sure that they understand his AS symptoms and I would also like your assurance that I will be notified immediately when classroom problems occur. . . Once again, I will be in the lounge by 7 PM each evening that the Boychick is present. . . This coming Wednesday, we will be there early in order to be introduced to the Boychick's teachers. . . it would also be really helpful to me if I could sit down with him before Wednesday evening and present him with his schedule. I would like to be able to tell him what to expect: the courses, the teacher’s names, and a general outline of what he will be learning in each class. Getting the “set” for each class will help the Boychick be ready to participate in the class. This is an absolute necessity for the Boychick to get the most he can out of the classes, and for the teachers to see the best in the Boychick . . . "

Given that I was never allowed to speak to the teacher last semester, even when the problems had been exacerbated by lack of timely communication, I was decidedly more pushy in this e-mail than I was in the one I sent last fall. I did not request that a meeting with the teachers be set up, rather, I simply told the DE that we (the Engineering Geek's quietly imposing six feet plus is more helpful in getting taken seriously than is my title, sad to say!) would be there early to meet the teachers.

On this e-mail I attached only the aforementioned information sheet. It includes a description of the Boychick's diagnoses, what they mean, his strengths and weaknesses, and a detailed list of suggested classroom interventions. I will include here just the first two parts:

Diagnoses: The Boychick is a gifted child with Asperger Syndrome (AS) with co-morbidities of Auditory Processing Disorder (APD), and Attention Deficit and Generalized Anxiety Disorder as the result of the AS. Asperger Syndrome is an Autism Spectrum Disorder (ASD) characterized by at least normal intelligence, normal speech, a tendency to perseveration, and profound difficulties with social communication. Auditory processing deficits affect auditory working memory and accurate understanding of verbal/auditory based instructional methods. It also affects reading and writing, which are primarily verbal skills. The Boychick currently qualifies for special education services as a child with Autism under the Individuals with Disabilities Education Act (IDEA).

The Boychick's strengths:
*excellent visual memory
*focuses strongly on details
*passion for nature, natural philosophy, and science
*high level of curiosity about and awareness of the physical world
*excellent large muscle coordination and timing
*passion for the visual arts

*well developed vocabulary

The Boychick's weaknesses:
*dysgraphia
*difficulty reading body language and social cues
*difficulty with metaphors, symbolic language, sophisticated verbal humor, and sarcasm
*difficulty processing complex verbal instructions
*difficulty processing auditory input in a noisy environment (low signal to noise filtering ratio)
*dysfunction of sensory integration
*high need for structure and environmental predictability
*tendency toward pessimistic world view (the glass is not only half-empty, but dingy and cracked as well)
*short attention span/limited cognitive endurance

In a different e-mail (so as not to confuse the issue), I also sent along two short articles that will be very helpful to the Boychick's teachers, should they be given the opportunity to read them:

1) Blinded By Their Strengths: The Topsy-Turvey World of Asperger's Syndrome This paper discusses the problems that teachers encounter because an Aspie student's strengths raise expectations that he will be entirely normal and successful in the classroom. It also includes five areas that direct teaching strategies ought to address for these kids: perspective taking, sociocommunicative expression and understanding, reading/language comprehension, executive dysfunction (i.e. problems with planning and organization), and problem solving.

2) Overcoming Inertia: Five Survival Strategies for Children with AS

This paper discusses the profound apraxia in cognitive, affective, and behavioral tasks often seen in AS that leads to great difficulty in initiating action. (Apraxia leads to shut-downs, which are often interpreted by neurotypicals [NT] as oppositional behavior, because NT's in authority tend to think that a child's behavior is a reaction to them. They rarely consider that it may be internal to the student). The problems are described, giving examples, and then five strategies are suggested: consult with the AS student to reduce stress, use a pre-arranged touch-prompt to signal the beginning of a new step in a sequence of actions, lead from behind, teach paced breathing as a calming technique, and teach binary decision making.

And just in case these attachments do not get passed along, I have printed them out to give to the teachers.

I had already made another proactive arrangement to reduce our stress in the coming term. I have reduced by GA hours to ten per week, so that I will have more time for my own schoolwork and for managing the Boychick's school issues, Machon issues and whatever else comes up.

And what is so cool about getting sidetracked today, is that as I re-read and edited The Boychick and AS for Machon file, and read the short papers again, I realized that all of this concise information will be valuable for the upcoming IEP. The five categories of intervention listed in the first paper described above will be useful categories for IEP goals. The five survival strategies in the second paper are useful reminders for me to give teachers about how to keep the Boychick on task in his regular school classrooms, and will help them key in to what the apraxia is (internal) and what it is not (oppositionality).

A good day's work. I think I deserve to go listen to the radio and relax for a while!

Humming: "When I'm old and wise . . . bitter words mean little to me, like autumn winds, they'll blow right through me . . ."

I can hardly wait until next year.

Grandma Madge: Time Stand Still!

With all of the happy news in our family, you'd think we'd be complete.
But now there is a new member of the extended clan,
and Aunt Madge, of Camp Aunt Madge fame, has become Grandma Madge.

My nephew and his wife announced the arrival of their daughter, Lily Marie, during the week of Hannukah. Here she is, on her birthday, being held by a very pleased Grandma Madge!

This makes my mother a great grandmother, and me a great aunt! Hmmm. Madge doesn't really look like a grandma . . .

We're too young for these extended titles.
I thought Mother of the Bride (MOB), my new working title, quite mature enough.

My, but the wheel of the years seems to be turning faster and faster. Tomorrow I will enter the tail-end of the fifth decade of my life. Whoa, girl! What's the hurry? "Freeze this moment a little bit longer . . ."





"I let my skin get too thin
I'd like to pause,
No matter what I pretend
Like some pilgrim --Who learns to transcend
--Learns to live
As if each step was the end . . .

"Summer's going fast, night's are growing colder,
Children growing up, old friends growing older . . .
Experience slips away,
Experience slips away . . .

"Freeze this moment a little bit longer,
Make each sensation a little bit stronger,
Experience slips away . . .
The innocence slips away . . ."
Rush, Hold Your Fire

Wedding Plans: The Beginning

The Ring

So when the Chem Geek Princess and her Knight Errant arrived home from England via Dallas, the Engineering Geek met them at the airport (in the CGP's car) and brought them to Weck's for breakfast. They were having Green Chile withdrawal symptoms that had to be attended to immediately!

After oooh-ing and ah-ing over the ring--and as you can see, this was required!--we got right down to the immediate questions as the coffee was poured, and were deep into discussion by the time the Juevos Rancheros and Breakfast Burritos were delivered to the table.

Then we got down to business. Both the Bride and the Groom wanta small and elegant wedding, but they had different definitions of small. He was for immediate family only (about 20 people) she thought small was 100 people. As the discussion continued, I kept notes in my head. From that breakfast discussion and several more, we have gotten the basic outline down. Here is what they have in mind:

• No "sheet-cake wedding": elegant and unique




• Venue: small and intimate: a wedding chapel, a winery, or a Bed and Breakfast; no southwest decor--Victorian?




• Guests: Close family and close friends, the wedding party (~50 people total)




• Date: She was thinking fall 2010, but they have finally settled on April 24, 2010




• Time of day: Evening




• Attire: Black tie required




• Food: Hors d'ouvres, Sparkling waters and fruit juices, cake and a Champaigne Toast (no bar), perhaps a midnight breakfast, no southwestern food, perhaps Italian?




• Groom's jobs: list of close family, friends, his witnesses, he gets the officiant, plans the honeymoon




• Mother of Bride (MOB): plans with bride (CGP), Groom does not sweat details




• Brides parents set budget and bride abides by it (we like this one!)




• Invitations: elegant and formal, sent out in Engineering Geek and MOB's name




• Dress: she's thinking of using her friend's Italian silk dress, and would add a lace jacket but not worried about this yet




• Colors: ivory/candlelight and gold for the women, black tuxes with gold accents and ivory shirts for the men (MOB's requirement: I get to choose my own complimentary color)

Yesterday, the Engineering Geek took me to Butterfield's Jewelry to get me some birthday gold and garnets (on Monday I will celebrate another trip around the sun!) and while we were there, I picked up a free Albuquerque/Santa Fe wedding guide. After perusing it, and consulting the CGP, I signed us up for The Wedding Gallery bridal show to take place two weeks from tomorrow at Hotel Albuquerque, which is advertised to be:

"New Mexico's first luxury wedding showcase, featuring the southwest's finest products, services, and wedding professionals for couples with discerning tastes."

The Chem Geek Princess and her Knight Errant

This sounds like the CGP--after all, her last initial stands for Princess--and her Knight Errant. And the KE himself had suggested it on New Year's day.

So.

I have 16 months.

The fun begins!

And I mean that sincerely. I have been looking forward to this since I cradled the newborn CGP in my arms.

Happy New Year!

HAPPY NEW YEAR 2009!

FROM YOUR FRIENDS AT RAGAMUFFIN!

We've been making rather merry in the last little bit, as they'd say in Merry Olde England.

Yesterday we prepared the house for our annual New Year's Day Open House--featuring the Engineering Geek's World Famous Slow Roasted Turkey.
Then we went to a friend's home, ringing in the New Year on New York Time:

What would New Year's Eve be without watching the ball drop?

We got home in time to toast the New Year again, this time on New Mexico time.

This morning saw us up late, doing the last-minute things, talking to friends across the country by phone, greeting our guests, and then our party began.

Of course we had a special Champaigne toast (Gruet Demi-Sec) for the Chem Geek Princess and her Knight Errant.

And I did not take a single picture!!! I forgot entirely!!!!

So, it will all have to be left to your imagination . . .

They Wanted War

During Hannukah, even as we discussed the Maccabees, we have been increasingly concerned with the renewed rocket attacks on southern Israel launched from inside the Palestinian State of Gaza. These attacks had been ongoing for eight years, and since the recent cease fire was not renewed by Hamas, rockets are once again being fired into the sovereign State of Israel.

In the past few days, the government of Israel has (finally!) run out of patience with the situation, and has begun a response with air strikes against Hamas. The Israel Defense Forces (IDF) began by calling civilian cell phones in Gaza, warning them to leave buildings and areas inside Gaza in which the Hamas military stores arms, and from which plans are made and rockets are launched. They did this prior to beginning the air strikes against these military targets, thereby giving up the element of surprise. Currently, the air strikes continue, and the IDF has declared much of the border with Gaza a military zone, and has been moving in ground forces. A spokesman for Prime Minister Ehud Olmert has said that as far as the PM is concerned, this is all-out war.

Yesterday, as I was going through my e-mail, I saw this headline from the New York Times:

Israeli Troops Mass Along Border: Arab Anger Rises

My immediate reaction was to ask: Arab anger? What about Israeli anger? How long should a sovereign state tolerate attacks across its border with another state? One such incursion is an act of war that should not be tolerated by any government. One of the primary duties of government is to protect citizens against external aggression. Hamas initiated the war against Israel with the first rocket fired across her border. That the Israeli government has not responded until now could be seen by the citizenry as a dereliction of its duties, and indeed, that is one reason why the Olmert government has fallen and new elections have been called.

A further look at the NYT headline revealed this tag:

With the death toll in Gaza rising to nearly 300, a furious reaction spread
across the Arab world, raising fears of greater instability in the region.

Really? Instability in the region? No shit, Sherlock!
The NY Times has risen to new heights as the Master of the Obvious.
Isn't it clear that the region has been unstable for . . . oh, say, at least since World War I? Or maybe since the Crusades? Or how about when the Romans destroyed Jerusalem and erected Aolea Capitolina? Maybe we could go back to the Aryan invasions in prehistory?
Evidently, like most of the rest of the country, the NYT writers have no firm grasp of history.

But I digress. With the Israeli response to Hamas aggression, the usual parade of PC terrorism apologists have once again come out of the woodwork. These are the same people that claim moral equivalency for the mujahideen that murdered nearly 200 civilians in Mumbai right after Thanksgiving. (For an excellent article about this, see this link at the Center for the Advancement of Capitalism). In whatever guise they frame their arguments, these people essentially claim that Israel has the moral obligation to sustain attacks and make no response in her own self defense. Their reasoning, no matter how convoluted on the face of it, is that it is precisely because Israel is a successful state that is capable of defending her people that she is morally obligated not to do so.

Essentially, these people are arguing that a successful state, capable of guarding the rights of its citizens, is morally obligated to commit suicide rather than respond appropriately to incursions by terrorist groups bent on the destruction of the very concept of civilized government.

As Americans, we are heirs to the founders who first framed the duty of government to protect the rights of citizens, and we should not be distracted by convolutions of the PC arguments. We should go right to the heart of the matter. The PC multiculturalist stance is one of radical hatred for Western culture and values, and for the civilization that it has built. If we love our culture and if we want to sustain it, if we love our very lives, then we must stand up for the right of self-defense on the individual and national level. We should frame this as a moral argument.

Israel, like any other sovereign state has the moral right, nay, the moral obligation to defend the lives and property of her citizens. When the Hamas terrorists fired that first rocket across the border with Israel, they were asking for war. Now they have it. Although the IDF has gone out of its way to reduce civilian casualties in Gaza, the moral responsibility for these casualties belongs to Hamas, and Hamas alone. It is they that began this war without regard to the lives and property of the people in whose name they claim to govern. As is typical of terrorists, Hamas has actually shown no interest in, nor concern for the people they claim to represent. If they had, they would not have attacked a country that has superior armed forces.

It is Hamas that wanted this war and Hamas that started it. Israel must now finish it, and should do so decisely, with moral clarity. A decisive victory using overwhelming force to root out and destroy Hamas will do more to reduce civilian casualties and the ongoing misery of the Palestian people than will years more of tolerating the intolerable. Israel's moral mistake is not in finally responding to attacks upon her people and their property, it is in tolerating the Hamas attacks for so long.

Eight Happy Nights: Hannukah 2008 Is a Wrap!

A NEARLY WORDLESS SPECIAL

The sun has just set today, ending the minor Festival of Hannukah.

Although it is a minor festival according to the Jewish calendar, it is a major holiday in our hearts. That may be because it is a festival of identity and freedom, celebrated amidst the American Christmas. It may also be because it requires no long worship services, no intense preparation; it is relaxed, and people can go about their usual business during the days. It is only while the candles burn that we pause to enjoy the growing light each night, to enjoy songs and presents, to relax with one another.

On the first night, we lit candles at the house of friends in Edgewood.

Latkes--potato pancakes-remind us of the miracle of the oil. They are also warm and crisp on a cold winter's night. And nobody can eat just one!

There is a legend that Mrs. Maccabee's latkes were responsible for the Hannukah lights!

On the second night, the Engineering Geek led us in a rousing version of Maoz Tzur -- Rock of Ages.

He then reminded us of a family Hannukah story: how and why the Shammash (candle used for lighting the others) stays balanced on his musical Menorah. And how he convinced a gullible friend one Hannukah that it was by balance and magic that it does not fall!

On the third night, we saw that the light was growing. Little by little, the glow was beginning to fill the room.

On that night, the first of two snowstorms for the week had ended, but the Engineering Geek, the Boychick, and his friend A., and I were all snowed in together. This was the night of our best discussion about the Maccabees.

On the fourth night, we had been able to venture out for an hour, and A. was able to go home for he had to visit his grandma the next day.

This was a peaceful night. The three of us sang songs, and then settled down to listen to The Festival of Light CD (Produced by Six Degrees). This eclectic collection has jazz, klezmer, blues and Israeli, including my favorite version of Maoz Tzur on it.

The fifth night was December 25, and because it was during Hannukah, the Synagogue Men's Club did not put on the almost annual Movie and Chinese.

So after spending a quiet day at home in the snow, we made our own Chinese Dinner and we watched an Israeli movie after the candles burned down.

The sixth night was on Shabbat. We lit the candles just before dark, and enjoyed them in the dining room. We ate our Shabbat dinner and sang Shabbat songs, while they burned.

After, it was dessert, the Birkat Ha-Mazon (Grace after Meals) and then a quiet walk in deep snow. No movies on Shabbat!

On the seventh night, we began when we could count three stars in the night sky. Before lighting the Hannukah candles, we said good-bye to Shabbat with the sweet ceremony of Havdalah--Separation-- and sang of a good week to come.

Here, the Engineering Geek and the Boychick look at their fingers in the light of the braided candle as we chant the blessing for fire. The Hannukah candles stand ready in the Menorot.



On the last night of Hannukah, we celebrated many things. The Boychick's 15th birthday. The Chem Geek Princess's return home from England. And the presence of A. and his mom to celebrate with us!


By the eight night, the room is filled with the warm light of candles!

We remembered the miracles and wonders the deliverances and battles fought by our ancestors in those days at this season . . .