Tuesday, December 22, 2009

Generic Holiday Greeting with Disclaimer


Ah, yes. It is the time of the year when neighbors and townspeople everywhere put up little twinkling lights and play holiday songs of questionable taste loudly in the public square. And although at Ragamuffin House, the winter celebration ended last Saturday evening at sundown, all of us here are well aware that other such celebrations are just beginning.
And thus, with tongue planted firmly in cheek, we present you with our annual generic holiday greeting, complete with the required legal disclaimer, the print size of which we have helpfully magnified:

RAGAMUFFIN HOUSE WISHES YOU
AN APPROPRIATELY MULTICULTURAL
LEGALLY PRUDENT
HOLIDAY OF YOUR CHOICE!
Happy Holidays!

Fine Print, magnified for Reader Convenience:
This statement of good wishes (”Greeting”) from me (”Sender”) is intended to be generic in nature. “Holiday” is intentionally left an undefined term. This holiday may include, but not be limited to, Christmas, Chanukah, Kwanzaa, New Year’s Day, Saturnalia, or even Elvis’ Birthday (”Elvis” is a registered trademark of Elvis Presley Enterprises, Memphis, TN). Further, the recipient of this greeting (”Receiver”), may insert his or her own holiday into this Greeting, either explicitly or implicitly, or no holiday at all, if he or she chooses. If Receiver celebrates no holidays during the intended period of Greeting, assumed to be roughly mid-December 2009 through the first week in January, 2010 (”Greeting Period”), he or she may consider Greeting to be merely general, and a simple wish of good feelings and joy, suitable for any time of year, or no time at all.

Greeting should in no way be construed to guarantee or warrant happiness or other good feelings during Greeting Period, or warrant or guarantee an acceptable holiday. By accepting Greeting, Receiver expressly agrees that he or she assumes the risk for his or her own holiday. Receiver will hold Sender harmless should Receiver’s expectations for Greeting Period and wishes contained herein not coincide.

Greeting is at all times subject to withdrawal by Sender, and it may be canceled or modified at any time, without notice to Receiver. In the event of cancellation, Receiver shall receive no credit or proration for any time left in Greeting Period. Greeting is not intended to be transferable, and has no cash value. Under no circumstances may Receiver in any way alter Greeting, or publish Greeting directly or indirectly without express written permission of Sender. Permission may be withheld for any reason within the sole discretion of Sender, with no rule of reasonableness.

Should Receiver not accept the terms of Greeting listed above, no rights or benefits related to Greeting will accrue.

Should a dispute arise from Greeting, Receiver agrees that jurisdiction and venue will be in the courts of Ragamuffin House. Sender and Receiver agree that personal jurisdiction will lie in those courts, regardless of the location of either party. Greeting will be construed under the laws of Ragamuffin House*, without regard to Choice of Law or Renvoy.


*Said laws state that the Ba'ala Beytah (Mistress of the House) shall wish you Joy and Happiness, Peace and Holiness in this season of Light. So let it be written, so let it be done.

4 comments:

Anonymous said...

Elisheva,
As a casual observer of your post may I wish you and yours the best for the coming year and hope that health and happiness stays with you. I do not wish you success with the objects of con con 09 as I think it is the most misguided effort I have seen for a long time.
It is fascinating to see your country so covered with snow and ice, real picture post card stuff. We don't get that here except for isolated areas. I live in a sunburnt country, a land which is now at the start of the bushfire season and extemely hot. It would seem strange to your people to sit down to Xmas dinner in temperatures approaching 40 degrees C.
Regards ..........Ben

Leah said...

LOL!

I love your Holiday Greeting.

christinemm said...

Love it Elisheva!

Elisheva Hannah Levin said...

I thought some of my fellow Educational Anarchists would appreciate my annual tongue-in-cheek greeting. Thanks, guys.

Ben: Are you in Australia or Africa? Souds like you are in the southern hemisphere.


In any case a few comments:
1) CC2009 was not a Constitutional Convention, which is sometimes called a Con-Con. We have not have a Constitutional Convention since 1787, and to have one would be to form a new government.

2)Most Americans do NOT want a new government--they want the government we have now to follow our Charter, the Constitution of the United States. It is that Charter that gives our federal government its power. The States are Sovereign, and have their own Charters from their respective citizens. They and the people actually have uncounted rights according to Amendment Ten of the US Constitution, whereas the US federal government has limited scope.

3) Since the Progressive Era changed US History and Civics Education in the public schools into a vague discipline called "social studies", most Americans are unware of #2 above. That is part of the mission of Continental Congress 2009.

4) Since you are not an American citizen, I am assuming that you believe that the United States is a pure democracy. It is not--it is a Constitutional Republic. A pure democracy is nothing more than tyranny by the majority. Our federal Republic was established to protect and defend the natural rights of its citizens and that is all it was to do. Everything else--was the job of the States and of the People.

4) The First Continental Congress of 1774 was called in response to the Intolerable Acts following the Boston Tea Party of 1773. The Second Continental Congress was called to respond to the British invasion of the Massachusetts Middlesex County, and the battles of Lexington and Concord. Continental Congress 2009 was called to respond to the lack of response of our servant government to Petitions for Redress of Grievances guaranteed us by the First Amendment to the Constitution. It was called to Defend, not Amend the Constitution.

Elisheva Levin