Thoughts on Standards and Credentials

Well, I am at it again! I read a newspaper article from Seattle that profiled a program in which the public schools provided some services to homeschooling families in the area. Foolishly, I went to the discussion board for the article. Naturally the discussions used the article as a starting point for discussions about a lot of concerns regarding homeschooling. One such discussion was about standards and whether "amateurs" could teach their children properly. In other words, the concern is about credentials for teaching.

I couldn't help it--I just spent about 2 hours crafting an essay in response. It that forum, it is probably pearls before...well, it is probably politically incorrect to finish that sentence, but you know what I mean! :) Here is an abbreviated version of what I said:

About Educational Standards:
There has been much discussion about standards. I hold a public school teaching license (Secondary Science/Math/Social Studies and K-12 Special Education).I taught public school for 10 years. In my experience, the standards we are required to teach to are often vague, poorly stated, or so numerous that they cannot be met in the 180-day school year. I served on an advisory board for the science standards in my state when I was teaching genetics at the university level. I learned that the development of standards is often a political process in which it was more important to use politically correct jargon and to make sure not to offend anyone than it was to make sure that our students graduate with the content knowledge and skills necessary to function in an increasingly "flat world."

Am I against the very concept of standards? Not at all. The standards that I use to educate my son are higher than those of the public schools in which I taught. I demand that he can not only read and report back what what he reads (decoding and comprehension), but that he gains the background to ask questions about what he reads and compare the ideas in a particular piece of writing to other ideas that he knows about. I am educating my son to participate in the "great conversation" that is Western Civilization, and to appreciate how his life and his ideas are part of something much greater than himself; something that preceded his stay on the planet and that will continue after he is gone. My issue with the current standards movement is not that standards are bad. It is that standards ought to proceed from an integrated set of ideas about what education is and what it ought to accomplish. I do not see that in the standards that are being promulgated in my state at this time, and I do not believe that that the the current emphasis on testing can solve our current educational problems because the standards upon which they are based do not rest on a solid foundation of a well thought out set of ideas. I have many other concerns about NCLB that are tangential to this conversation about standards, but that is another discussion.

Are parents amateurs if they do not hold teaching credentials?
Most of the parents I know who are homeschooling their children are college educated people who have at least a BA or BS in their field. That is what is required of a public school teacher. The courses in education that I took focused primarily on classroom management, discipline, the legal responsibilities of a teacher, testing and other topics of importance to someone who is going to need to teach and manage large groups of other people's children. These skills are not terribly important in the situation of homeschooling because the parent is not managing large groups of other people's children. In this case, the concern about "amateur" v. "professional" is like comparing apples to oranges because the situations are not the same. The characteristics that made me a "good teacher" in the sense of being someone who could organize and convey information in a way that students could understand were not taught to me in any school of education. Rather, they came from my content knowledge, my experience and the experiences shared with me by veteran teachers. Much of what it takes to be a good teacher in this sense comes from the ability to observe a child and learn what it is that he (or she!) needs in order to learn. When I was teaching, parents were often my best source of information about the children I taught, because they knew their child intimately.

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There it is!

No photos, no anecdotes, today!
Tomorrow I will be more chatty! Today, I just had to put my thoughts down--somewhere!

Still Snowing!

Snowstorm number three!

Are we done, yet?



It started snowing on Thursday, December 28 at about 3:30 PM and it has not stopped since that time. The whole state of New Mexico is closed!
According to NOAA and the National Weather Service, a slow-moving storm with a lot of moisture in it stalled over the Sandia Mountains this morning. We had gotten 30" at our house by this morning--and it is still snowing. Above is our truck, parked at the top of the driveway and completely buried!



To the right is a picture of snow falling on the rain guage last night. I like the effect of the flash on the snowflakes. There is also a "ghost" just above the guage, a drop of melting snow on the lense just as the picture was taken.
Last night, we heard that I-40 westbound was open for a little while but it was closed before our daughter could even think of going into town.

We took a walk with the dogs this morning. My DH shoveled a path to the top of the driveway--but the county had not plowed since Friday morning, so we had to break a trail on our cul-de-sac to Via Sedillo Road. There, a lone 4-wheel-drive pick-up had driven down the road and we were able to walk in his tire-tracks. The dogs love the snow!




To the left is a picture of a fence with about 18" of snow on the top rail. The rest of the snow had fallen off behind the fence. Cedro Peak can be seen in the distance.





News Flash!! The neighbors are outside using their snowblower to make a path to the road! Awesome!! I will have to make them some cookies!







Here is a view of Via Sedillo heading north toward I-40 (and Old Route 66), both of which were closed yesterday and are still closed today! You can see the tracks of the neighbor's lone pick-up in the middle of the virgin snow. These are the tracks we were walking in. The ridge of Sedillo Hill is visible, but the Sandias behind it are hidden by clouds and falling snow.
This is awesome! (Just so long as we have clear weather next week for the Bar Mitzvah.




To the right is a picture of our daughter's car.

She parked it at the end of our cul-de-sac on
Thurdsay evening. By this morning, ML's car was buried under all the snow we got.
Beyond the barricade is the National Forest land. We saw some people heading that way with their cross-country skis this morning. N. wants to learn to snowboard and DH and I are thinking of getting some snowshoes. Oh, I do hope we are out of the drought! This is like the New Mexico winters I remember from the '80's.




Here is a picture of our house taken this morning. You can see how heavy the snow is from the tree in the right foreground. This storm brought a lot more snow than the Hannukah snowstorm. The snow was also wet and heavy, whereas the Hannukah snow was light and there was more wind and drifting that happened. There are no drifts with this snow; it is deep everywhere. There are deeper patches where it fell on top of the snow that had not melted from Hannukah.



To the right is a picture of the snow against and on top of our retaining fence. It filled up the basketball net--I wonder how you calculate those points! The trees in our yard there are weighted down by the snow. Every now and then, the snow slides off and makes what N. called "a mini-snow explosion!" It is no fun being under one when it happens. Snow down the back, snow in the face...definitely a "snow bomb!"



This is "lively Lily." She loves the snow so much that last week when ML lost the leash,


she took the kids on a merry chase into the National forest. (At least, Lily was merry! The kids weren't counting on a three mile walk in deep snow). Getting her to hold still long enough to snap a good picture was difficult, but I just kept snapping away--the joy of a digital camera--until we got a good picture.

Below is Zoey. She is not quite as enthusiastic about the snow. Could that be because she

was breaking the trail for everyone? Actually, she is a greyhound-dalmatian cross. She does not have an undercoat, so she gets cold faster than Lily, and is usually ready to come in after about 30 minutes. Lily, on the other hand, being a hound-shepherd cross, has a thick undercoat and could probably play in the snow all day without getting cold.

Guess what? The sun has finally broken through at 2:30 MST! We have had about 40 hours of continuous snow, but it looks like the storm has finally moved to the east and we can dig out. I wonder how long it will be until the state gets the freeway open? Once that and Route 66 are clear, the county will plow our roads.

I think the third snowstorm of the 2006 -07 season is coming to end for us.

Stay tuned for pictures of our saintly neighbor, Dave the Dentist, and his labs, ploughing the driveway! Wow--is that?--could it be?--BLUE SKY!

I accidentally downloaded this twice and I cannot figure out how to get rid of it! Cut does nothing!

So Here it is again. Oh, well.

Academic Progress? Real-world Assessment

It's N.'s 13th birthday today!
N. is now starting his 14th trip around the sun and he is now responsible for his own sins--I am off the hook except as an advisor and Jewish Mother.
I, his mother, feel a lot better today than I did 13 years ago! It was a complicated pregnancy and they induced labor so it was a fast and hard ride! But I still remember the joy of greeting my newborn son.

I have been thinking that we have been so caught up in the Bar Mitzvah that we have not done "school" much lately. I was actually getting myself all worried that we are getting "behind." In this our first year of homeschooling, I am still learning to let go of the kind of school organization that one does teaching in an actual school. I think that transfering from the school world view to the homeschool world view may be harder on those of us who have formally taught in school.

So I sat down to write a list of what we have accomplished in the past three weeks:

• checked off the response cards for the Kiddush Luncheon against our guest list
• made hotel reservations for out-of-town guests
• made a list and script for N. to call people whom we want to honor with Aliyah (being called to bless Torah) and other honors.
• made arrangements to host a Shabbat dinner for our out-of-town guests at the hotel (picked menu, added prices, etc.)
• perfected the chanting of N.'s Torah portion from the scroll (no vowels or cantillation marks are in the scroll)
• read N.'s Torah portion for content and meaning
• discussed N.'s portion with the rabbi in order to develop an outline for N.'s D'var Torah (THE SPEECH)
• developed and fleshed out the outline for the D'var Torah (used the computer)
• Used the outline to write the speech (used the computer)
• edited for grammar, spelling, mechanics and content (used the computer)
• began practicing making a speech--gestures, cadence, tone, transitions, etc.
• began practicing chanting N.'s Haftarah
• read N.'s Haftarah for content and meaning
• researched current needs at the animal shelter (internet)
• planned a charity drive to make "take-home" baskets for 12 people who adopt animals at the animal shelter

These activities meet standards in Reading and Language Arts, Foreign Language, Music, Art, Public Performance, Math,Social Studies, Organizational Skills, Computers and Technology, and Community Service Learning. Even better, they meet the criteria for bringing the world into N.'s studies--because all the preparation is for a real event in which N. has to lead a service, give a D'var Torah, do a community service project and plan. Yes, he is being assisted in all of these areas--we call this teaching! According to all the evidence from Gifted Education--the real-world component is the most important for actual learning of skills. The social component is also involved. N. has had to interact with people of all ages by phone and in person. He is practicing social skills important to collaboration with others to accomplish a goal, and social skills that involve anticipating the needs and comfort of guests, as well as appropriate manners for greeting his well-wishers. He is also learning to use formal language and how to conduct himself in a formal setting.

And I will not need any tests to measure N.'s progress. The successful completion of the Bar Mitzvah Ceremony, the Kiddush Luncheon, and the family Shabbat Dinner on Friday and the family Havdalah and Seudah Shlishi (3rd meal) on Saturday evening will demonstrate N.'s progress without any doubts. This is alternative assessment that schools can only dream about!

I worry too much!

By the way, N. had graciously granted me permission to post his speech--after the Bar Mitzvah. He does not want me to steal his thunder.

Nine days until the Bar Mitzvah! (Breath, Elie, breath)!

It's snowing--again!

T'fillin: Binding and Unbinding

...But first, the before and after pictures
of the Hannukah Menorot.


To the right is the before picture. You can see the wax built up on them! It could take up to three hours to get this amount of wax off.

This picture to the right is the "after" picture.
(I did not have my husbands' antique Menorah in the "before" picture because I had already started cleaning it when we came up with the "Miracle of the Oil" solution. It is in this "after" picture, at the back). Don't they look marvelous? And it took about half the time that I have spent in the past. Call it "a miracle of mineral oil," call it "better living through chemistry," but definitely call it labor-saving.

Now, about T'fillin. They are called phylacteries in Greekified English. Or should that be Anglicized Greek? Anyway,T'fillin are leather boxes on straps that adult Jews bind on their head and arm when they pray. The boxes have compartments in them that contain small scrolls that have the Shema ("Hear, O Israel...) and V'ahavta ("You shall love Adonai your
G-d...) written on them. The scrolls are parchment and the verses are written by a scribe.
Here is N. donning his new T'fillin for the very first time in order to pray the morning service.
At his Bar Mitzvah, now less than two weeks away, he will proclaim himself responsible for the commandments as a Jew who can be counted in the minyan (quorum of 10 adult Jews needed to conduct a public service). In preparation for this, he is taking on the commandment of using T'fillin for weekday morning prayer.

Here is N. reciting the V'erastichli ("I will betroth you to me forever..."), while he winds the strap around his middle finger. Using T'fillin is symbolic of binding oneself to the commandments. It is a physical representation of the desire to bind oneself to G-d, Torah, and Israel through the fulfillment of commandments.

...But to me, watching N. bind the T'fillin has another meaning. It means that a phase of his learning is over. He is growing up and he has the knowledge and responsibility to take on certain obligations of his own choosing. More and more, in the coming months and years, my job as his mother will be to "unbind" him from me so that he can take on the commitments that will define him as a man and a Jew. His education will change, too, because more and more my direction or what will be learned will give way to the interests and passions that will lead him to his adult path. Part of me is "shepping naches" (rejoicing in the attainments of another) about his choice to lay T'fillin. Another part of me is hesitating on the edge of this new thing--my boy growing into a man. This part is hard for me as a mother. "Unbinding" my son from my control cannot be too sudden. He still will need direction and discipline for a while yet. But it must happen apace. I cannot stop him from growing up. In some ways, because I am his mother, N. and I have a destiny that is bound together forever. I will always be his mother. He will always be my son. But the nature of that bond is changing. He was my baby boy, but no longer. He was my "little guy," but no longer. And soon he will not be my boy. He will be my son, the man. Thank goodness I have a few more years to "grok" that one!

The Latest Miracle of the Oil

I did get the wax removed from the Menorot (pural for Menorah) yesterday!

As I was scraping wax off of his antique brass Menorah/Music Box (It plays Maoz Tzur), my DH passed by. I told him that I was thinking of using Murphy's Oil Soap because hydrophobic molecules (like fats, oils and wax) cannot be dissolved by water, but can be dissolved by fats. He said:"Hmmm...I'll bet mineral oil would work really well!" I said I thought it would, but I didn't think we had any. DH went off to the garage and a few minutes later he came back with a large bottle of mineral oil! It worked! Oh, it did! It shortened the time incredibly, although I did have to scrape at the big patches, they came off easily! I will post before and after pictures tomorrow--I am too lazy to get up and load the pictures right now--but it was nothing short of miraculous! (My husband's Menorah came out cleaner than it has ever been--he brought it into our marriage with years of wax on it). Chalk another one up to the "Miracle of the (mineral) oil! My DH says that it is "better living through chemistry." All religions have their explanations.

Today we did the Jewish thing. CAB (Congregation Albert Brotherhood) put on the first annual Chinese Dinner and a Movie event. About 75 of us showed up to eat Chinese food, shmooze, tell Jewish Chinese food jokes, and watch an Israeli movie.

Some Jewish Humor:
Q: Name three categories of Jewish food?
A: Fleishlig (meat), Milchlig (dairy), and Chinese!

This is the Jewish year 5767. According to the Chinese Calendar it is 4704. What did Jews do for 1063 years without Chinese food?

Twas the night before Christmas, and I, being a Jew,
My girlfriend and me, we had nothing to do!
The Gentiles were home hanging stockings with care,
Secure in their knowledge that St. Nick would be there.
But for us, once the Hannukah candles burned down,
There was nothing but boredom all over town.
Outside the window sat two feet of snow,
With the windchill they said it was 15 below!
And while all I could do was sit there and brood,
My girl saved the night and cried out "CHINESE FOOD!"
In search of a restaurant, "Which one! Let's decide!"
We chose Hunan Chozer* and ventured inside.
Around us sat other Jews, their platters piled high
With the finest of food that money could buy.
--Anonymous

*Chozer is Yiddish for "pig" which is only kosher when prepared in a certified authentic Chinese venue. (Just kidding!).

Oh, and the movie was Ushpizin, a modern retelling of the story of K'tantan. In the movie, a chasidic couple are down on their luck (and infertile) and do not have the money to even buy food and the lulav for the holiday of Sukkot. After praying for a miracle, 1ooo American dollars shows up on their doorstep. They are able to build a Sukkah (booth) and then two troublesome guests show up--former cons--called Eliyahu (Elijah) and Yussef (Joseph). These are the names of two of several Ushpizim--symbolic guests--that are brought into the Sukkah over the holy days. But the couple, Moshe and Mali, have strong faith and they decide that the troubles the Ushpizin bring are a test from the Eternal. So they welcome them. In the end...well you should get the movie from Netfix. It is a very heartwarming movie for everyone about the power of faith. (A Hint: Remember what happened to Abraham and Sarah after they welcomed strangers to their tent?).

A good time was had by all!

Happy December 25th to all, and to all a good-night!

The Latest Miracle of the Oil

I did get the wax removed from the Menorot (pural for Menorah) yesterday!

As I was scraping wax off of his antique brass Menorah/Music Box (It plays Maoz Tzur), my DH passed by. I told him that I was thinking of using Murphy's Oil Soap because hydrophobic molecules (like fats, oils and wax) cannot be dissolved by water, but can be dissolved by fats. He said:"Hmmm...I'll bet mineral oil would work really well!" I said I thought it would, but I didn't think we had any. DH went off to the garage and a few minutes later he came back with a large bottle of mineral oil! It worked! Oh, it did! It shortened the time incredibly, although I did have to scrape at the big patches, they came off easily! I will post before and after pictures tomorrow--I am too lazy to get up and load the pictures right now--but it was nothing short of miraculous! (My husband's Menorah came out cleaner than it has ever been--he brought it into our marriage with years of wax on it). Chalk another one up to the "Miracle of the (mineral) oil! My DH says that it is "better living through chemistry." All religions have their explanations.

Today we did the Jewish thing. CAB (Congregation Albert Brotherhood) put on the first annual Chinese Dinner and a Movie event. About 75 of us showed up to eat Chinese food, shmooze, tell Jewish Chinese food jokes, and watch an Israeli movie.

Some Jewish Humor:
Q: Name three categories of Jewish food?
A: Fleishlig (meat), Milchlig (dairy), and Chinese!

This is the Jewish year 5767. According to the Chinese Calendar it is 4704. What did Jews do for 1063 years without Chinese food?

Twas the night before Christmas, and I, being a Jew,
My girlfriend and me, we had nothing to do!
The Gentiles were home hanging stockings with care,
Secure in their knowledge that St. Nick would be there.
But for us, once the Hannukah candles burned down,
There was nothing but boredom all over town.
Outside the window sat two feet of snow,
With the windchill they said it was 15 below!
And while all I could do was sit there and brood,
My girl saved the night and cried out "CHINESE FOOD!"
In search of a restaurant, "Which one! Let's decide!"
We chose Hunan Chozer* and ventured inside.
Around us sat other Jews, their platters piled high
With the finest of food that money could buy.
--Anonymous

*Chozer is Yiddish for "pig" which is only kosher when prepared in a certified authentic Chinese venue. (Just kidding!).

Oh, and the movie was Ushpizin, a modern retelling of the story of K'tantan. In the movie, a chasidic couple are down on their luck (and infertile) and do not have the money to even buy food and the lulav for the holiday of Sukkot. After praying for a miracle, 1ooo American dollars shows up on their doorstep. They are able to build a Sukkah (booth) and then two troublesome guests show up--former cons--called Eliyahu (Elijah) and Yussef (Joseph). These are the names of two of several Ushpizim--symbolic guests--that are brought into the Sukkah over the holy days. But the couple, Moshe and Mali, have strong faith and they decide that the troubles the Ushpizin bring are a test from the Eternal. So they welcome them. In the end...well you should get the movie from Netfix. It is a very heartwarming movie for everyone about the power of faith. (A Hint: Remember what happened to Abraham and Sarah after they welcomed strangers to their tent?).

A good time was had by all!

Happy December 25th to all, and to all a good-night!

Movies and Chinese Food

Yesterday, we went into town for a while. My DH and N. had to pass out flyers for N.'s BSA troop's Christmas Tree Recycling Fundraiser. Next week, Henry the Big Red Truck will be pressed into service to pick up Christmas trees, which will be put through a Chipper Machine (I didn't know such things exist). The troop gets $5.00 per tree to do this. We live in rural area, so the troop assigned N. to pass out flyers in a dense neighborhood in town.

I dropped the guys off at the entrance to the subdivision and then I planned to go buy pet supplies and maybe relax at Borders. RELAX! HA! (Those among you who are aware of your surroundings are probably laughing as you realize that this was on December 23!). I couldn't even find a parking place anywhere near Borders. Thank goodness that I don't actually have to shop for Christmas. There are benefits to sitting out the biggest shopping extravaganza of the year. It took me quite some time to get a parking place near Petsmart, but I managed. Petsmart was crowded: They were doing a pet adoption of cats from ACAT and dogs from Watermelon Mountain Ranch. They were also doing pet photos with Santa! The aisles were very crowded. It took me an hour to pick up 40 lbs. of dogfood, 20 lbs. of catfood, 36 oz. of dog greenies, 12 ozs. of cat greenies, and 27 lbs. of cat litter (which I think I left on the bottom of the cart!Darn!).

I checked the Borders parking lot again. Cars were even parked in the fire zone! APD must have gotten good revenue there! There were several cars roaming the parking lot waiting for someone to leave. I passed right by and found a small coffee shop with comfortable chairs near the neighborhood where DH and N. were passing out the flyers. Thank goodness I had brought a book. I bought a Chai tea latte and settled in to wait. Any ideas about picking up a few needed items at K-Mart were firmly put down by another customer who told the baristra that she had waited in the express line there for nearly 2 hours.

After I picked up my guys at the other end of the assigned neighborhood (cell phones are a wonderful thing), we needed to go to Lowes to pick a torch kit for our bathtub installation project (pictures forthcoming). Lowes was NOT crowded (everyone appeared to be at Target next door) and there were even a few parking spots big enough for Henry. This was excellent--we needed to consult with someone concerning the types of fittings for the new faucet hardware and we got help immediately. If you need to do home-improvement, do it the weekend before Christmas! Really! Everyone is shopping elsewhere and you will get the home improvement industry's advice all to yourself. We were only in Lowes for about 1.5 hours instead of the usual 3 hours it takes if you need advice. We had the same person help out throughout the Lowes experience, too. And the guy at customer service remembered us between the time we made our return (apparently we needed Moen kit 9997 but they shipped us Moen kit 9999) and our re-order (they expedited this and the hardware will arrive on December 27). It looks like we will have the new bathtub in by 2007 after all!

Today I have to put away the Menorot--and I really am going to get the wax off today! We have no plans to go anywhere that requires parking or going into a retail establishment. We are planning movies and popcorn for tonight.

Sometimes we go to Old Town to see the Luminarias on Christmas Eve, but there is a wicked west wind that is making 30 degrees F feel like 20 degrees F, so we won't go tonight. Tomorrow, we will participate in that great Jewish tradition for December 25--a movie and Chinese food.

6th Light: White Solstice

Good morning!


To the right is the view I saw when I looked out the window this morning. Last night it was still cloudy and snowing when we went to bed.
This morning the Sandias glowed pink in the pre-dawn light.


We had over a foot of snow at our house over the last 24 hours. We are happy for the snow but we are also happy for th sun that now shines on it, giving the world that blue-and-white look of winter.


According to the new calendar, today is the beginning of winter. We think of the snow as a celebration of mid-winter, according to the old calendar, which designates the winter solstice as Mid-Winter's Day.

To the right is a picture of our house on Mid-Winter's Dawn. The Shadow of clouds on the Sandias can be seen in the background. The drifts at the porch and the south wing are 3-4 feet high, covering the bottoms of the windows!
Today will be the shortest daylight of the year for us. Tonight the sun will set at the same point in the southwest it did last night--just south of Cedro Peak. Then it will be rising just a little to the north each day--bringing an increase in the amount of daylight each day. Once again, the
great dance of the earth around the sun begins!



To the left of the house is the Ponderosa Pine behind which the sun will set tonight! It is the same place the sun set last night--although we only saw a faint glow through the clouds. When the sun appears to set in the same place, it appears to stand still--which is the origin of the word "solstice" which comes from Latin: sun-stand-still. The Romans celebrated this day as the Feast of the Unconquerable Sun, which began a week of celebration called Saturnalia. The Celts celebrated this time as Yule-again rejoicing that our star appeared to stop retreating to the south. Christians celebrate the birth of their messiah at this same time--symbolically celebrating the return of light to the north.



Hannukah is not connected to the solar year. The Jewish calendar is an adjusted lunar calendar. But Hannukah starts after the last quarter moon and ends on the second day of the new moon that comes near the winter solstice. So Hannukah comes during the dark of the moon and the dark of the sun. Increasing light at this time is also symbolic of bringing light into a dark world. At the end of Hannukah, the lunar light is just beginning to increase. This year, Hannukah will end the day after the solstice--as the light of the sun is also just barely increasing. This year, especially, we are reminded of the importance of increasing light to the world as the light increases in the Menorah, as the moon begins to wax with the new month, and as the daylight increases with the passing of the winter solstice.

At dawn after the snowstorm, the dawn of the last day of decreasing light, we welcome the light of the sun!

Welcome, Star of Life, Center of the Year!

Blessed is the Eternal, Sovreign of the Universe, who fashions light and creates darkness, who makes wholeness and creates all things. With compassion, the Eternal gives light to the earth and all who dwell on it; with goodness, G-d renews the work of creation each day... Let all bless you, Eternal, for the greatness of your handiwork and for the great lights you have made: let them tell your glory throughout space and time.





May we all know joy in the increasing light and wake from our winter's rest with strength renewed.


As our roads take us to new heights, may we take with us the resolve to increase the light each day!

Happy Holidays!

Snowbound on the 5th Day

Aren't the lights pretty? They are reflected in the window and show the increasing light we can bring to the world in these dark times at this dark season. Last night we talked about how even in the darkest of places, a mensch (a.k.a. a real human being) can bring a little light into the darkness. As we travel through the eight days of Hannukah we increase the light each day, just as when we travel through our lives we should increase the light each day.



This picture, taken this morning shows the sunrise on the 5th day of Hannukah. The white blur of the picture is due to the snow that was falling even as the sun was peeking through the clouds. We woke up to 7" of snow in the guage and a steady 20 mph wind, creating blizzard conditions. We are truly snow bound as I-40 is closed from Albuquerque east to the Texas border. We live east of Albuquerque, so we cannot go anywhere even if we could get to I-40! Our county roads are drifted shut and the snowplow has not come by. So we are all home today feeling very cozy and warm. N. has been outside twice today already with his sister and the dogs. They had lots of fun jumping over and through the snowdrifts. The only school we have done so far today is pray the morning service and read 5 pages in The Source.



This picture was taken through our kitchen door and is of a sculpted snowdrift that was about 3 feet high. We have since gotten about 3-4 inches of snow, It has been snowing steadily since we got up this morning. How beautiful the snow is when you are warm and cozy inside, enjoying its beauty! We plan to pop popcorn today and play games. N. received the game Blockus as a gift. It is a game of strategy and spatial reasoning. He will probably beat me handily and in less than 30 minutes--who needs to practice spatial reasoning?!

Tonight we will light the 6th light and begin the 6th day of Hannukah. Last night we had classical music. It will be interesting to see what kind of music we play tonight.

Snowstorm in Hannukah

Look at this!

This was before the most recent wave of snow hit--which is happening now.

We are having our second winter storm of the season--and last year we got almost NO SNOW at all. Even though this ties up traffic and makes driving hard, we really need the snow. (The snow in the meadow is actually about 2" deep, but the meadow grasses are about 3' tall). The record monsoon rains we got in August and the El Nino snows we are getting this winter may actually pull us out of the 10 year drought we have been experiencing. Anyway, I LOVE snow!

We had a quiet day today. I got up early to have a phone conference with Dr, Cheri Florance in New York. She runs an organization called "Brain Engineering" and she has some awesome programs to help visual people adapt to the verbal world. After the Bar Mitzvah, N. and I are going to be doing a lot of that work. We hope the program will help him with attention to verbal instructions, and speaking and organizing his writing.

Anyway, I let N. sleep in since it was snowing this morning. Then we snuggled on the couch with eggnog as we read some more of The Source. I did a little laundery, we watched an episode of Star Trek, The Original Series (season III), we took some pictures, N. went out to play in the snow three different times--a nice, cozy snow-storm sort of day.

The snow seems to be coming in waves--and a look at the satellite pictures show the storm center over western New Mexico, so there is a lot more to come tonight. We are expecting 12" by tomorrow morning. Tonight is going to be a night for popcorn and movies...after we light candles for the 5th light of Hannukah.

Three Weeks and Counting...

We now have three weeks and counting until N.'s Bar Mitzvah!

On Wednesday we had our second appointment with the rabbi so that he and N. could work on the D'var Torah.

The D'var Torah is sometimes called "the speech" but it is really supposed to be a discussion of the Torah Portion of the week. N. is not fond of writing and due to his AS, he has difficulty with anything but the literal meaning of the text. What this means is that school has become mostly the Bar Mitzvah. I had planned on a break during Hannukah, but instead of a complete break we have taken a break from secular studies and we are focused only on Bar Mitzvah studies. All of what N. is preparing and practicing could be considered academic--he is writing an interpretation of a particulary juicy Torah portion, he is learning the trop marks for chanting Torah and Haftarah, and he is working on translation. These are all important skills--so why am I worried that we are getting "behind" in Saxon math? In the home-school context, what does "behind" really mean? After all, "behind" is a relative term!

I think the difficulty for me in going from schooling to homeschooling is more the mind-set than the curriculum. Sometimes I find myself wondering if I am doing the right thing!

The end of this week was also spent getting ready for Hannukah. Although we are careful to emphasize that Hannukah is not Christmas, there are still some preparations involved. Inevitably, when Hannukah is over and I should clean and polish the Menorot, I say to myself: Oh, well, I can always do this as we prepare for Hannukah next year! The problem comes at three o'clock on the day Hannukah is supposed to start when I am running around like a crazy woman grating 15 potatoes for latkes and then it is time to get the Menorot out, and then I say: Why the heck did I wait until now? If insanity means doing the same thing over and over expecting different results then I am truly certifiable at this time of the year!

There are, however, compensations. We are reading James Michner's The Source out loud. This week we read the chapter: In the Gymnasium--which dealt with Antioches Epiphanes and the Maccabean revolt, just in time for the celebration of Channukah. We had a great discussion about what the miracle of Hannukah really is. There was some good discussion over Shabbat dinner last night. N. finally said the miracle was that Am Yisrael Chai. The people Israel lives! Now that is a miracle.

Tenderfoot

Last night N. got his Tenderfoot Rank Badge!

Look at this handsome boy scout!

This is N. reading his part of the "12 points of the scout law" ceremony last night at a Court of Honor at which he made a rank advancement to Tenderfoot in his Boy Scout troop.

The Tenderfoot is the second rank on the "Eagle Path." The ranks are as follows: Scout, Tenderfoot, 2nd Class, 1st Class, Star, Life, Eagle. In the Scout through 1st Class ranks, the boys are learning the outdoor and life skills to be an accomplished scout. From the Star through Life, they are learning service to the community. At Eagle Scout, the boy not only has the outdoors skills and has done community service, but they have also developed leadership skills and have used them to lead others in service to the community.

This is N. receiving his Tenderfoot badge from the assistant scoutmaster for his troop. In order to earn the rank of Tenderfoot, N. accomplished the following:

• Present himself to his leader properly dressed for a camp-out with a properly packed backpack.



• Spend the night in tent he helped pitch



• Assist in preparing two meals at the camp-out for his patrol

This picture is N. putting his Tenderfoot Mother's Pride Pin on me! Requirements continued below:

• Whip and fuse the end of a rope



• Demonstrate and explain the use of two half-hitches and the taut-line hitch knots



• Explain the rules for safe hiking on the highway and cross-country, day and night. Demonstrate what to do if he is lost



• Demonstrate how to raise, lower and fold the American flag.


• Repeat from memory and explain in his own words the scout oath, law, motto and slogan.


• Know patrol name, give the patrol yell and describe the patrol flag


• Improve ability to do push-ups, sit-ups, and pull-ups over 30 days


• Identify local poisonous plants and demonstrate treatment for exposure to them


• Demonstrate the Heimlich manuver and explain when to use it


• Demonstrate first aid techniques for simple cuts and scratches, blisters, first-degree burns or scalds, insect bites, stings and tick removal, poisonous snakebite, nosebleed, frostbite, and sunburn


• Demonstrate scout spirit by living the scout oath and law in everyday life


• Participate in scoutmaster conference


• complete board of review

I really like the incremental approach to learning concepts and developing skills that the scouts use. I also like that N. is spending quality time among boys of a range of ages and that he is mentored by the older boys and well as by the adult men who guide the troop as scoutmasters, assistant scoutmasters, merit badge counselors, boards of review, and troop committees. What a world it would be if schools used these approaches--they are the methods that create autonomous learners. As it is, homeschoolers often use similar approaches by mentoring our kids or providing mentors and incremental learning approaches in which our kids are encouraged to take the next step and go the extra mile. I find the scouts to be a great supplement to my homeschooling curriculum for N.

Here is the Bazooka Berserkers Patrol with proud parents!

N. is third from the right in the first row. I am immediately behind him. Bruce, my husband is behind me. We are standing behind placards of the BSA ranks.

Happy Trails!

Hannukah Lights

This weekend we were busy and I did not get a chance to make an entry.
On Shabbat, we went to a Bar Mitzvah--we were ushers because N. is the next Bar Mitzvah. When Shabbat was over, I was busy with getting my e-mail caught up. Yesterday, I mopped the floors and cleaned the bathrooms while Bruce worked on preparing to put a new tub into our bathroom. But we did get up early yesterday to see the totally awesome conjunction of Mercury, Jupiter and Saturn. They rose at about 6:00 AM and were visible until just before sunrise on the south-eastern horizon.

Friday evening we had my daughter's gentleman-friend over for Shabbat dinner. I had baked him a pie since he helped with the tub last weekend. He came in and immediately asked why we don't have our "Hannukah Lights" on. (Our house had white twinkle-lights on the eaves when we bought it. We have not taken them down but neither have we ever used them. They are white light and would ruin night vision for astronomical observations). The conversation went like this:
A.: "Why don't you have your Hannukah lights on?"
Me: "They are not Hannukah lights and anyway Hannukah does not start until next week."
A.: Aw--why not turn them on? They are on the house."
Me: "We don't do that."
A.: "But why not?"
Me: "We don't do that."
And the conversation went on to other things.

The point here is not that A. was trying to get us to celebrate Christmas, but that A. does not understand what Hannukah is. I have noticed that Christians, whether nominal or religious, who celebrate Christmas according to the customs here in the United States, tend to think of Hannukah as sort of a Jewish version of Christmas. They may be somewhat aware of the story we tell about Hannukah (the miracle of the lights) but they do not get at all the meaning that Jews ascribe to that miracle. So here, in short, is an explanation of the meaning and purpose of the celebration of Hannukah.

Hannukah is a minor holiday (that is it was not biblically ordained) and it commemorates the victory of the Maccabees (a priestly family) in a guerilla war against the Selucid tyrant, Antioches IV (called Antioches Epiphanes--meaning Antioches who is god made manifest). That war was the end result of an assimilationist religious policy that Antioches mandated for all the nations of the Selucid empire. (This empire was ruled by Hellenized Syrians from Antioch). The purpose of the policy was to unite the empire under one religious system in which all subjects were required to pay homage to Antioches and were also free to worship their own gods as secondary deities. This was acceptable to most of the subject cities of the Selucids, but it was not acceptable to certain Jews in Judea and the Galilee. Many of the Jews living in these places were quite Hellenized--they spoke the Koine, they went to the gymnasium, and they even tolerated the command to make sacrifice in homage of the emperor twice a year. The high priests often also had Greek names (such as Jason or Alexander). For this reason, as the edicts came down from Antioch, the response of the Jews as a whole was to tolerate them, while secretly they called the emperor "Antiochus Epimanes" which means "Antiochus the fool." However, there were some Jews, such as the priestly family of Mattiyahu in Modi'in, Judea, whose tolerance was limited. When the emperor commanded that pigs be sacrificed in his honor in all of the temples of the Selucid empire (including Jewish synagogues and the Temple in Jerusalem), these Jews protested. Circumcision and the study of the Torah was then forbidden--which created an open rebellion by the sons of Mattiyahu, including Judah called Maccabee. After three years of war, Antioches gave up and the Maccabees became the rulers of Judea and the Galilee. They had missed the celebration of Sukkot (a major festival that lasts 8 days), so when they rededicated the temple (Hannukat ha-bayit), the proclaimed a holiday to last 8 days beginning on the 25th day of Kislev (approximately mid-winter in the Hebrew calendar). That is the holiday of Hannukah--meaning rededication. The story of the lights does not appear in the books of the Maccabees (which are NOT part of the Jewish Bible because they were written in Greek and not Hebrew). The miracle of lights is a Rabbinic midrash that appears in the Talmud, when the celebration of Hannukah was already customary among the Jews.

The meaning ascribed to the celebration of Hannukah is that of resistance to assimilation. We live among the nations but we have our own identity. We say the Al-Hanissim prayer during the eight days, reminding ourselves of "the miracles, wonders, and battles" which the Eternal "did for our ancestors in those days at this season." Those miracles, wonders, and battles resulted in the survival of our people as a people apart. Hannukah happens for eight days sometime between Thanksgiving and New Years Day on the western calendar. However, it is not even remotely related to Christmas--which is a major Christian Feast and also a major Madison-Avenue mid-winter Event. Religious Christians celebrate the Feast, but most secular Americans celebrate the Event. As a Jews, my family does neither, though we do recognize that our Christian neighbors are celebrating a major feast. I enjoy looking at the lights and I appreciate the joy Christians feel at this time. However, it is inappropriate for me, as a Jew, to keep Christmas as a Christian feast because I am not a Christian. It feels even more inappropriate for me, as a Jew, to celebrate the Event of Christmas, which has pagan roots and tends to ignore the religious aspect so important to my Christian neighbors.

Hannukah is a holiday during which Jews celebrate the right and responsibility to be who we are. In our celebration of Hannukah, we commemorate the miracle of our persistance as a people who have retained our identity despite the many times tyrants have tried to make us assimilate throughout our long history. For these reasons, I find it disingenuous to put up "Hannukah" lights or have a "Hannukah Bush" in my home. These assimilationist practices are contrary to the purpose of commemorating the victory of the Maccabees. As our rabbis taught us, that victory should not be remembered primarily as a military victory but as a victory of the Jewish spirit. The miracle of the lights is a metaphor for the miracle of the continued existence of the Jewish people as a people with a unique identity among the nations. At Hannukah, as we chant the blessings and sing the songs, I am reminded that it is my responsibility and my privilege to guard the stubborn flame of Jewish identity for my children and their children.

Thirty (30) Days to the Bar Mitzvah

Last night I got an e-mail reminding me to send in a bulletin article and picture for N.'s Bar Mitzvah announcement. (They reminded me later than the deadline--but that is another story that has to do with a three month period without a clergy assistant at our synagogue).

Announcement? Picture?

But didn't we just do the bris (circumcision and naming) a few years ago?

I don't know why, but this step in the process just stunned me.

It's strange.

He started his tutoring last April--I put the appointments in my calendar but no emotions about that.

In August when we started homeschool, I added a morning service and Torah study to his schedule. I enjoyed teaching him the trop (tunes) and the meaning of his chanting.

I ordered invitations in October--eInvite is a great site! But no emotions--just a sense of when they had to get out in the mail.

I addressed nearly 100 envelopes. Here it was a concern about getting them in the mail before Thanksgiving.

But that announcement in the Bulletin business--that started it. I became Nervous Nellie immediately.

Tonight he had his tutoring session and then a meeting with the rabbi to begin working on his D'var Torah. As our rabbi went over the responsibilities and priveleges of being a Jew--I started sniffling! Oy Vey! My little yidele is becoming a Jewish adult.

Since I had not yet scheduled a photographic session, we took a picture with our digital camera--actually several pictures. We needed to choose! We included N.'s dog in the picture because he is doing a Mitzvah project involving collecting needed items for gift baskets for people adopting pets at our county animal shelter.

And his dog is his constant companion. He wrote a little article about his Bar Mitzvah and the Jewish ethics for considering the needs of our animals.

See the picture at the top? Aren't they beautiful?
I am kvelling.

Good-bye, Trans-Fats

Today, as N. and I were driving to the library, we heard on the news that trans-fats are being banned in New York City. All kinds of questions immediately came to our minds:

Are New Yorkers going to be sneaking across the New Jersey state line to get their supply of Crisco?
How are Jews who keep kosher going to make Kugel to go with meat without parve margarine?
If some buys a Big Mac with fries in New Jersey on their way to work in New York City and the fries are not eaten by the time they go through the Holland Tunnel, are they guilty of transporting a controlled substance across state lines? Will the FBI get involved?

When we researched the question, it became apparent that the reality is much more boring than our imaginations. We were thinking there'd be a movie like "Escape from New York II: Addicted to Oreos." However, Oreos are now trans-fat free. And you can buy trans-fat free Crisco, too. Kosher bakers will have to go back to palm oil. Oh, and we did find out that the food industry did it to themselves. People want the choice of whether to eat the nutritionally value-less but somewhat unhealthy trans-fat. The food industry did not want to label it. Last year, the FDA began to require labeling but if a product has less than 0.5 grams of trans-fat, they could put O grams trans-fat on the label. So, since people can't know how much trans-fat they are getting if they eat one serving or less, they started a movement to ban the stuff.

I tend to think the government should keep out of John and Joan Q. Public's business as much as possible. Still, you can't make a choice without having information. If information is incomplete or deceptive (and saying zero grams when you should say less than 1 or trace can be argued to be deceptive) then people will find a way to assure themselves they are not getting small amounts of something they'd rather not eat at all.

McDonalds, you shot yourself in the foot!

An Atypical Today

Today we had a hard time getting going.
First, it was very cold out this morning and I didn't crawl out from under the covers until 6:30.
I had to put on my long-johns, too!
Then, as I was getting ready to take the dogs for their walk (they are my personal trainers), my husband tripped a circuit breaker when he tried to use the micro-wave and we had to go outside and reset the breaker.

N. was also moving slowly today. It took him 45 minutes to eat breakfast, clean his place and get dressed. So I said: Time to study Torah! (He is preparing his Bar Mitzvah portion).
N.: "Aren't we going to read?"
Me: "I thought since we are running late..."
N.: "I can't study Torah until we read. Anyway, I want to snuggle on the couch in my blanket."

So we read. That is I read aloud while N. snuggled in his blanket. We are reading James Michner's The Source which goes along with our history concentration on ancient history.
(The book is actually about a fictional town in the Galilee that is being excavated by archaeologists. It spans time from about 10,000 years b.p. to 1964 C.E. We are planning to read just the ancient history part and return next year for the Medieval part).
Today we read the beginning of a chapter called "The Voice of Gomer." We then spent a few minutes predicting what Gomer's role is going to be in the story, which is set just prior to the Babylonian Galut. N. really likes the book and asks many questions about it. Sometimes he follows along in another copy. (The public library is a great resource!).

But then came logic and math. We are up to Mindbenders A3, and he did alright with the puzzle, but he was a little slow. However, math was the problem. N. never did learn his multiplication tables in 3rd grade. And we are working on 3 step multiplication and on replacing an unknown multiplier--a kind of elementary level algebra. Most of the time he is pretty good sport about using a multiplication chart, but today he was pulling his hair, pounding his forehead and showing me the angry face when we were checking his work. It took all the way until lunchtime to finish the damned math! However, I kept calm --if you know me, you know what a great feat that was! I don't know what to do about the resistance I was working with in math, so I just kept going as if it was not happening. We'll see if extinction of behavior by ignoring it actually works.

Now N. is doing independent reading, so we are back on track, but I just skipped history today.
Some days you just have to punt! He is reading Theras and his Town which is about a young Athenian boy who is kidnapped to Sparta. I guess that gives some history. I am probably going to have to revise my tentative plan and skip some of the ancient history in the book we are using.

For recess, he was practicing his casting (he is a fly fisherman) and it looked good. He came back in a better mood.

Happy Monday!

Why I Homeschool: Response to Dr. Phil

December 3, 2006


I reviewed the show on "unschooling" that was on Dr. Phil. I do not generally watch these shows because I am busy at those times and/or I am interested in doing something else. I was advised that this particular show might be of interest from several homeschooling lists I subscribe to. I wrote this response to the Dr. Phil website. I had to subscribe to do so but I really, really wanted to respond!

Response to Dr. Phil

About the show: I was disappointed with the show on homeschooling because it looked as if the most extreme and problematic issues were chosen as if they were typical of homeschooling in general. I suppose that is to expected since IMHO television increasingly displays the most extreme side of anything in its bid for the attention of the public. However, this is not informative for people and it seems to be designed to cause arguments rather than conversations.
Some of the posts on the show's message board illustrate that the above is true.

I live in New Mexico and my second career was as a public school teacher--a deliberate choice after spending 15 enjoyable years as a scientist. In my personal experience as a teacher I have met more excellent teachers than poor teachers, but it is wrong of the public schools as a whole to claim that poor teachers do not exist. They do.

I took my son out of public school this year and I am teaching him at home. I did this for several reasons. The first is that I was unable to get my son the type of educational services he needed in the public schools. My son is extremely bright and he also has Asperger's Syndrome. Many general education teachers have difficulty attending to the needs of the bright children in their classrooms and it becomes even more difficult when the child also has a disability. I found myself spending more time educating my son's teachers than I did educating him--sometimes with good results and sometimes with poor results. So the first reason is that I felt I could better meet my son's educational needs than the schools if I put my energy into that instead of continually trying to make the schools into something they are not.

My second reason for removing my son (and myself as a teacher) was the inordinate amount of time spent on testing, teaching to the test and poor quality of the tests that came with NCLB. During the 10 years I was teaching, I taught at all levels--elementary, middle school and high school. The last two years I was at the elementary level. We spent 15 solid days testing students. Many of the tests did not reflect the actual curriculum and the test designs were so poor that the qualitity of the information they gave us was extremely suspect. In my professional opinion as a teacher, much of this testing was an enormous waste of time for our students and did little to improve their learning. The last straw for me came when students whose testing indicated that they were not meeting literacy standards were told they must go to summer school. However, each school was given only 1-4 slots per grade level in the summer literacy programs due to lack of funding from the Feds--who mandated this in the first place. What were parents to think? They tend to blame the teachers because the teachers are the people they actually talk to face-to-face. Yet as teachers, we were powerless to get the students what they needed. Accountability is all well and good if the people being held accountable have the means to make change happen. Otherwise, it is another way in which the federal government can pretend they are doing something about a problem without actually taking any risk or action.

A personal story: In April of 2005, I recieved a letter from my son's IEP team stating that he had not made adequate progress in reading and that his scores on the A2L indicated that he needed remediation. As I was reading the letter, my son was reading James Michner's novel "Hawaii" and telling me about how shield-volcanic islands are formed and why they support such a diversity of life. He was just finishing fourth grade. It was a pretty funny moment. How could he test so far from reality? The A2L is a computerized test that has at most two items for each skill tested. Because it is a standards based test not a norm-referenced test, one or two items is not enough to make a valid assessment of student progress for a specific skill. Also, kids don't read computer screens all day in school. They read books. Therefore the testing method does not match the teaching method. This makes the test doubly invalid.

So my son is being homeschooled by me with help from his step-father and his 21 year old sister who is a student at UNM. Am I qualified to teach him? Hmmm. I certainly know more about him and his special needs than the average general education teacher. You could say that I am a specialist in his learning styles because I have spent far more time with him than any of his teachers could have. Does he get adequate and appropriate socialization? Well, he participates in Boy Scouts, goes to Hebrew school, belongs to youth group, and has neighborhood friends. I have been told by many a store clerk that my son has exemplary manners and talks to adults and other children appropriately. This is quite a compliment given that Asperger's Syndrome is primarily a social-communication disorder. Is my son making adequate progress? He is getting 90's in 7th grade math (he is "technically" a 6th grader), he has trouble writing due to poor fine-motor skills--this is also part of his disability--but he is learning key-boarding skills (the school would not teach him these until 8th grade!), and he is reading at the 12th grade (adult) level. He has learned biblical Hebrew and next semester we are going to be working on modern Hebrew language. So, like most kids, he is at different levels in different areas. This is true of kids who go to school and kids who don't.

Homeschooling, like anything else, is what people make of it. I am not an "unschooler" and I personally have no data to discuss how these children turn out--but the testimony of one child does not a valid research study make. I recommend that Dr. Phil read a sociological study called "Kingdom of Children" in order to better understand the varied approaches and philosophical ideas that comprise the homeschool movement as a whole. (Like any other social phenomenon, the homeschool movement is not monolithic).

Our school day is relaxed but includes quite a bit of content. We are following a classical curriculum Monday-Thursday and on Friday we do field trips and activities. My son is able to concentrate far better in his quiet dining room than he was in a classroom with 24 other children. (He has a lot of difficulty with what he calls "signal to noise ratio" due to his Central Auditory Processing Disorder --which is a frequent companion to Asperger's Syndrome). His social skills have improved because he is not constantly forced to relate in an environment that overstimulates his sensory system (Sensory Integration differences are another co-morbidity commonly seen in kids with AS). We start at around 9 AM and finish at around 2:00 PM with breaks as needed--but he gets much more content in that time than he would in school because he gets individual attention when he needs and does not spend a lot of time on the necessary but time-consuming "housekeeping" chores that go on at school (you know--attendance, explaining assignments, keeping order, disruptive students, etc). And he can go to the bathroom when he needs to--which is a luxury that is frequently denied to both teachers and students in school. (The most common chronic ailment for teachers is bladder infections due to inability to use the bathroom when needed).

Do I think everyone should homeschool? I would not presume to tell someone to homeschool because I have not walked in his/her shoes. Do I think all public schools are terrible places that do not educate. No. I was educated in public school and received a fine education. My daughter was educated almost entirely in public schools and she skipped several introductory courses at university because she had excellent, hardworking teachers for her AP courses.

In a free society, people make choices based on their values and the circumstances they find themselves in at the time. Because values and circumstances are necessarily diverse, so are the choices that people make. This is a good thing. I am grateful that my grandparents survived oppression in Nazi occupied Europe and came to these shores because I am free to make choices for myself and my children. I can do this because I was fortunate enough to be born in country where the freedom to choose one's own life-course is protected by law.